Friday, April 29, 2005

A Case For Daly Rage Part 02

Daly was naked outside factory five taunting the occupants for ten minutes without results. He began to stretch, flexing his taut muscles, knowing well that he would have to enter the building himself and kill every man, woman, child and bot in there. No mercy, blind fury. An act of aggression so immense, so glorious, tales of it will be told to unruly children to scare them to sleep. Adrenalin surged through his heart, sharpening his senses and focusing his mind. He knew once he entered the factory by brute force, he would just be a monster… a killing machine capable of acts unimaginable. A tinge of fear entered his soul but this was quelled by a torrent of RAGE.
This was it. He was ready.
“It is I, Daly Rage.” He announced with confidence. “Don’t put down your arms. I want to fight.”
He launched through the air, high above the factory, his body silhouetted by the moons death glow.
Using the ‘Fist of one thousand Glowing Stars” technique, he crashed through the galvanise structure, the entire ceiling booming down upon it’s residents. By the time he landed on his feet, four bots are already dead.
Daly narrowed his eyes. He counted at least forty opponents, both human and bot. The adversaries were scattered around the room, all yielding a variety of weapons. Daly recognised a lot of them from the war, the ‘Implosion’ gun, the Extremis Eradicus Gun, which strips the victim of their skin and the ‘Death on a Toilet’ gun, which is a particularly nasty weapon. The victim doesn’t die immediately but later when they need to shit.
“This will be easy”, thought Daly as he grabbed a baby from a nearby pram and pummeled it to death in his hands.
“Your fucking bitch mother will be next”, he sneered at the dead pulp of blood and baby parts, stomping on it for good luck before flipping forward to the nearest bot.
Daly mega-punched the bot, vaporising it instantly. Three more bots started to fire their weapons. Machines around the Rage began to explode, melt, implode and travel through space and time as they are hit. Daly screamed up to the bots dismantling one instantly before flipping the other two high into the air. They clashed together and exploded. Daly spied a human and immediately leapt at him with the thought of warm blood overpowering his mind. The soon-to-be dead man fired wildly at the Rage, one missed shot striking the moon, kerploding it into nothing. Fire rained throughout the night.
The man pissed himself as the Rage landed. In response, Daly ripped out his still beating heart, ate it and tore his spine out through the open cavity with his teeth. With a wild fire burning in his eyes, he swung the dead mans spine around, switching it between his hands, taunting the remaining fighters.
“You want my blood! Come take my blood.”
A small Asian man revealed himself to Daly who scoffed wildly at the mans' inadequate frame. He began a blistering mega-fist attack designed to remove the victims’ vital organs one by one, beginning with the genitals and ending with the brain. The Asian was a match for Daly, blocking his every move and performing a final counter-manoeuvre that sent Daly back three steps. The Asian leapt at Daly with a Flaming Dragon Kick to the head. It connected and Daly spun through the factories wall, which crumbled and collapsed. Dust stuck to his bloody parts, the Rage was back on his feet in milliseconds and flew at the Asian with deadly intent. The Asian readied a punch and their fists clash once, twice and three times! Each man mirroring the other, move for move, punch for punch, fist for fist.
But Daly had just began the slaughter and this Asian was only the stepping-stone to the uppermost level. The two men grappled for a moment until the opponent slipped on Dalys’ sweaty torso. Daly open-palm slamed the Asians face, who stumbled back a few steps before his brains sprayed out the back of his head, liquefied.
Daly had reached the highest plateau of his Rage and now nothing could stop him attaining from his goal. He could see Mr. Anglegrinder at the back of the factory, tied with electrical tape. Between them were many frightened foes. Daly laughed manically at his good luck to be in this glorious situation. His teeth were blood stained and his crazy eyes glistened in the fireball light. Blood dripped from his large, bear-like hands and he struck a frightening pose, which accentuated every muscle in his rippled body.
His rivals banded together for one final attack. All weapons blazed as they cautiously moved forward. Dust kicked up everywhere as objects exploded, imploded, shook, rattled, pooped, split, rolled, grew, shrank and disappeared. The men and bots stopped firing. As the dust cleared, Daly was nowhere to be seen. For a minute there was silence, then the fuckers lowered their weapons certain Daly had been eradicated.
But the ground began to rumble. Several men fell over as the earth lurched up in the middle of the group. Daly triumphantly rose from the dirt sheathed in a layer of filth. Immediately, he chopped a man in two. A spray of blood washed over the assembly. Another man tried to punch Daly but he got his hand ripped off and inserted into his skull. Daly screamed terrifyingly as he snaped a bot into pieces and shoved them into someone elses' face. In the next few horrifying moments, every, single man and bot was eradicated by the Daly Rage.
Climbing out of the mound of limbs and internal organs, Daly peered over to the hostage, Mr. Anglegrinder, who was still alive and well. He untied the shaking bot and carried him back to the trusted Astra.
At the car, the bot managed to speak.
“Thank you…”, he buzzed. “Thank you for saving me.”
Daly smiled, revealing his red teeth.
“But, I must know”, continued the bot, “are you… Are you…?”
“Be quiet”, responded Daly. “Your wife is waiting for you back at my office.”
And they tore away.


  1. leave the babies alone rob

  2. Fucking class Rob, superb post. If only the Daly Rage were real.

  3. Fantastic post Rob. And so true to life.

  4. This will be my last post for a while, so love it up.
    Also, I would like to apologise to Phant for telling him to cut off his face and feed it to his sister... also for the comment about him playing with his 'bits'. I got violent, myself, when I was writing this last night.
    I'm sorry, Phant.

  5. Here, Daly, have you ever used hotmail on firefox?

  6. Oui Oui Ian I have indeed - and it works perfectly. Have no fear of Firefox. Even with it installed and set as the default browser as I have you can still use IE whenever you want.

    I've got icons for both Firefox and IE on my desktop. I can use either whenever I want, or both at the same time, to view the same page, or different ones. I've been using Firefox for over a year, mayble longer and have come across only 1 website that apparently won't load for it for some reason.

    I would wholeheartedly recommend it to anyone and everyone. It is better than IE.

  7. Daly>> thanks for that, I'm gonna check out Firefox soon.
    Robert>> incredible post, very good. Two things though: it's 'Daly's', not 'Dalys'', and it's 'buzzes', not 'buzz's'. But I know you were tired, so that doesn't count.

  8. Yeah check it out. It does loads of stuff. It can remember all your passwords for you and has a download manager. It's got loads of options and free plug-ins. The best bit is tabbed browsing though. If you're like me and tend to have loads of windows open at the same time then your Start bar becomes a mess. With Firefox just right click the link you want to go to and click "Open link in new tab" and watch the magic happen.

  9. Man, word didn't pick that shit up. Thanks Jessie.
    And now because of Dalys' spiel, I'm going install firefox and stroke myself.

  10. Tabs are fucking fantastic or fanfuckingtastic even. Absolute magic.

  11. I've also fixed the tenses in this story. They were all over the place, sometimes changing mid sentence. Should be easier to read.

    That doesn't mean there still arn't mistakes, just in case you see a couple.