Friday, April 15, 2005

Hey! Time Travellers! Read this now!

I have a few areas that I enjoy thinking about at great length, one of which is time travel. Some time ago, in discussion with a close confidant, we established an experiment for determining whether or not time travel will ever be a reality, the only ingredient we were missing was a system for making information widely available for a long period of time. That system is this blog.

The experiment hinges on the long-term existence of this blog, so hopefully blogger, or some archive thereof, will be around for years to come. So let me explain, should this blog last through the ages, I am assuming that future generations will still possess the technology to view webpages as we know them and at some stage subsequent to the creation of time travel technology an individual/collective with access to the technology will read this post and consequently act upon it.

So if an individual/collective from the future should read this post please travel back in time to one of the times and locations listed below.

Should no visitor from the future make a trip back to this time period it will prove 3 things.
  1. Blogger has not lasted through the ages and this is a fruitless diversion from the monotony of every day life. Also we should all sue Blogger for no longer hosting our blogs.
  2. Time travel is not possible, in any time period. As if it was possible, surely some adventerous time cowboy would travel back to interview me and give me a next generation i-pod.
  3. People in the future are lazy bastards who don't want to see me proved right because perhaps I become over-lord of the planet and oversee the destruction of Australia before being overthrown by Daly in a bloody, manga-esque insurrection.

Should a traveller appear at one of the times and locations defined below it will prove that I am, indeed, a legend.

To give this experiment the greatest chance of success I am going to propose a number of dates and locations to which the time traveller can return. They are:

  • Friday April 15th 2005 at 9.00 am GMT. Location: Limerick Institute of Technology, Moylish Park, Limerick, Ireland. Room: 8A-508.
  • Monday April 18th 2005 at 11.55 am GMT. Location: Main entrance of afore mentioned Institute, standing slightlty to the left of the revolving door.
  • Thursday June 9th 2005 at 7.30 pm GMT. Location: On stage with "Destinys Child", Lansdowne Stadium, Lansdowne Road, Dublin, Ireland.

Fo ease of recognition I would appreciate if the time traveller would wear a purple shell suit and colour their hair blue. Failing that, just arrive naked. Nudity is perfectly acceptable in our time. I thank you in advance, far in advance, for your cooperation.


  1. Hello Ian, it is I; Daly from the Future. As you most accurately pridicted you did indeed rule the world for a time.

    Initially content under your reign, when I realised that the destruction of Australia meant no more Home and Away i did indeed overthrow your regime of "Terror Down Under".

    The fight itself, in good DragonBall tradition, lasted years, with each of us powering up for ages, fighting for a bit, talking about it, then powering up for ages more.

    I also fought in accordance with the Intergalactic Rules of Anime. Number 1112993: The more significant the event, the longer the reaction shot. Upon your death the international news networks zoomed right in on my face and have stayed there for the past 58 years. I'll shortly be closing my mouth.

  2. Hello! thanks for the link.

    I'm incredibly busy at work today but will come back and read your blog properly next week.

  3. Blub blub blub blub blub.

  4. I choose to come back at the last date, close enough to my birthday. Singing with the Destiny's Child isn't quite good enough for me, but it'll do.
    A shell suit is out of the question, so I'll just arrive casually naked. All hair will be blue (including pubes).
    Daly, your comment just craked me up.

  5. Wait, wait, wait. Hold up. Jessie, your birthday is near the 9th of June. When? Mine's the 4th.

    Oh yes, and Daly, I never congradulated you on being a funny bastard. So, congradulations. I hope this gives you enough confidence to post something official. Until that day....

  6. ... I shall lurk in the seedy underworld of each post. Rotting in my own filth, trying to make peace with those incessant bots that keep popping up after every fucking post.

    Seriously. If there's a robot factory near here will somebody point it out 'cos i'm going to kick its ass.

  7. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  8. My birthday's the 17th, so we're both good Geminis :P
    Can't believe I'm gonna be 24!! IM OLD!!!!

  9. wow u and rob are so alike.... hmmm...