Saturday, April 16, 2005

James Bond Jr.

Oh yes, I'm a secret agent in a suit. Sliding, ohhhh, sliding down an air vent. Mysterious base. Scary. Uhhhhh, Russian voices from below. Weeeeeee, sliding. Crash, break through vent into store. Ouch, my head. Better get my gun out. YEAH! Hear running. Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! BANG! BANG! through door. Bodies fall. Phew, that was close. Smash, ugh, through door INTO BIG ROOM. Argh, tanks.. cool. Shit. Many Russians. SCREAMING AT ME!. BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Oh, they have me. "Let me go, you foreign bastards. I'll have you. I'LL HAVE ALL OF YOU!". Crack, knocked out. Fade to black.
Wake up tied to rocket. Sweet. Wait.. no, not sweet. Wiggle, can't, tied tight. Mmmmhhh, wrists burn. Ah no, my legs... broken. Blood. Ewwwww, ugly bald man. "Ha, Mr. Bond. You're fucked now." Blub blub blub. I don't want to die... wahhh! "Go to hell, you stupid communist motherfucker". Oh, ah, oh, mmmmmmm. Oh no! He pressed the button. Getting hot. Oh, wish I could loosen my neck-tie. Sweaty, sticky. Boom. Flying. Argh. Can't breathe. Ugh. God. Oh God. Hmmmmm! PAINFUL. Ouch. OUCH... OWWWWWWW! Dead.

7 comments:

  1. I saw that episode, the zebra did it.

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  2. You guys are funny.

    (found you via suicide kitten)

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  3. I really like that episode. I could never stand that James Bond bollocks.

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  4. Very nice avatar, Ian, by the way; is that a self-portrait?

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  5. How do I change my avatar easily? Getting the one I have involved such mental gymnastics, even the Russain Gymnastic team from the 1984 Olympics would have be impressed.
    I am just not prepared to go through that again.
    Someone help poor little me.

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  6. Get a marker and draw over your avatar on the screen. "Totally handy like".

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  7. After the paramedics leave and the crew have hosed down the pavement, a stray jack russel pup chews on a morsel of frontal lobe.
    M

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