Thursday, April 14, 2005

Life Was Simpler, Before.

Aw man, just had the best shower OF MY LIFE! Oh yeah. Showering, washing, cleaning the pits. Swish, swish, swish. When, SHIT, dropped the soap. Oh no. Soap on the floor. Slippery. Slimey. Ewwwwww, stepped on it. Bend over, pick it up and, OH MY GOD, 16th century gold Spanish doubloon. Yes. Personal hygiene wins again. HEY. YES.
Went to the shop, walked, to spend doubloon. Yes. Said "HEY!".... I said "Hey, Golly Bar. Yes. Mmmmmm". Love ice-cream. Fuck yes. Went to counter, walked. Said "Hey, Golly Bar. Yes". "No", said cashier. What. Shit. No. WHAT!!! "Only real money". FUCK YOU CASHIER. No. Ran home, like girl, ran. Cried into pillow. WHY ME! Blub, blub, blub.


  1. I like it.

  2. Dear Robert,

    We at HB would like to apologise for the treatment you recieved from the cashier. We are currently conducting an intensive value chain analysis to make our Golly Bars available to everyone, even those still trading in 16th century currency. We would prefer if no one was excluded from the enjoyment of a well deserved Golly Bar. Obviously the retailer you attempted to purchase from is not currently on board with our new payment initiative. We hope this has not tainted your view of HB and its quality products, you big girls blouse.

  3. Oh man, this story would be more palatable if I didn't know Rob in person. Now i've just spent the past minute or so imagining him in the shower.

    This is sick and wrong, I move for this thread to be deleted.

    Ian may enjoy it though.

  4. Thelonious Monk bot10:36 pm, April 15, 2005

    Yeah, this reads like Jazz. Swing.