I have heard from my reliable, confidential sources that Pope John Paul II is being considered for sainthood. This latest development seems to spring from an event that occurred just days before we lost John Paul to the cold and raspy clutches of death.
A young, attractive theology student from Rome University developed an aggressive brain tumour which put her life in grave danger. As she was so young, bright and brimming with potential one of her professors, who often consulted with the Pope on affairs of state, made contact wih the Popes aides and arranged that the young student, Evelina Giua, have a brief meeting with the Pope.
Evelina met with Pope John Paul II in his room at the Gemelli hospital. His top aides had laid out the necessaries for communion, blessing, everything they could think of that the pope might need. As Evelina entered the room the Popes top aide leaned down and whispered into his ear that she had arrived.
As if by magic the Pope almost instantly revived, leaped from the bed and surveyed the room. Everyone stared, absolutely amazed by what they had just seen. They knew Evelina was attractive, but surely not that attractive. As quickly as the Pope had leaped from his bed he snatched a bottle of sacramental wine that had been left on his bed side locker and smashed it against the rail of the bed.
The room took a collective sharp gasp at this stage as they had now entered the unknown. The Pope dove across the room still tightly gripping the neck of the shattered bottle, he thrust it into Evelinas face shouting someting in Latin that has not yet been widely disseminated among the media. Evelina was able to release a half hearted scream for help before the envigorated Pope struck her. They both collapsed in a heap on the floor. The Pope had accomplished the tumours work and was returned to bed. His inexplicable burst of eneregy and magnanimity at ending poor Evelinas life are being billed a miracle by hundreds of thousands of people, if not more, world wide.