Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Wednesday Night Filler

I'm in a clubs courtyard, sitting on a bench opposite who I used to refer to as 50's chick but now as Lisa. She was called 50's chick because of her totally awesome sense of style. Kinda 50's office dress suit mixed with the sense of colour the sixties had. When I first saw her, in college, I was blown away. A few days later when I saw her talking to a guy who could have been anyone, I was broken. Right now, I am elated. She was just laughing at a stupid joke and she snorted a little. I loved it but she was embarrassed. So, I said, "Don't be embarrassed, I thought it was cute. But if you do it a again, I’m gonna throw my drink in your face." She almost fell off the bench because she laughed so hard. Lisa also wears really cool glasses. I like that.
Ten minutes earlier, I am inside the main dance hall at the bar ordering a beer. The beats were pumping and the drunks were jumping. I hate clubs. The only reason I am here is because we finished our third year exams today and, after a few pints in a pub, this is where everyone herded. At the bar I order a Heineken and start looking around for babes. Right beside me is the hot 50's chick from college. She looks really good when I am drunk. I look at her and smile. When she does the same to me, my mind goes blank and my mouth turns to fuzz. I manage to say "Hi" loud enough above the din for her to hear me. She says the same back.
"You go to L.I.T., don't you?” I asked putting on my best inquisitive face.
"Yea, I do" she replies while nodding her head to the music.
"Yea, I thought I saw you there... I like the way you dress". Immediately, I regret saying this. But her reaction wasn't the one I expected. You know, mouth agape; eyes wide. Complete shock that a simian like me might have an opinion on her apparel. She just smiled widely, thanked me and said "Vodka and red bull, please". She giggled away to herself and I forgot my name.
We are outside now because of the noise inside. Still, it's surprisingly loud outside. I lead her out by the hand to the bench. She is wearing gloves and it feels like I am leading a kitten, they are so soft. Sitting, looking at her, I am more aware of my environment than I usually am. I hear what other people are saying. I notice the particular shade of blue the spotlights are and I see how they arch across the courtyard wall, stop at the door of the club and then arch back. I see waitress's collecting glasses. Something I don't think I have ever seen before, just took for granted.
Yet, although I perceive my environment with more detail, at the same time it becomes more distant, something altogether separate from Lisa and I. All the people are just actors, the walls and ground are a stage. If I reach out my hand to touch them, they would just fall over and disappear. It's like I'm high.
And now it’s later and we’re in our post-coital bed. I lean over and whisper to her something private. She sighed and I could smell alcohol off her breath. We kiss a bit and then I turn over to fall asleep but she nudges me playfully. We end up spending, like, two minutes just nudging and pushing each other. Finally, we hold each other close and fall asleep. I dream about flying over fields and cities, over countries and continents, over seas and oceans around the world, over the tallest mountain and under the deepest ocean. I encircle the globe spreading particles of my being as I do so. Leaving my essence floating everywhere to be breathed in by every living thing. I become one with life.
In the morning, I have to leave early before her parents wake up.


  1. So who was the 'undiscoled person' you were talking about? tell us now!

  2. I musn't tell. I will face penalty of death if I mention their name... But I must say something otherwise my heart might stop beating... Okay... I'll tell. It was... It was....
    *A loud crack goes off in the distance*
    OWWWWWEEE, I've been shot in the head. Luckily, I'm ultra awesome so I survived.
    *Another shot echoes throughout the valley I am writing this in*.
    I am dead now from two shots to the head so I can't say.

  3. Young man this post is completely pornographic! Kissing? For shame!
    But you really crossed the line with this sentence:
    "Leaving my essence floating everywhere to be breathed in by every living thing. I become one with life."

    Leaving your essence everywhere! I do not want to breath your "essence" in. Do I look like some essence loving pornbot that you young whippersnappers see in those dirty films - like Under Seige with the sex fiend Steven Segal, or that minx Princess Jasmine from Disney's Aladdin?

    Becoming One with life? What would your mother say!?

    I hang my head in shame.

    (oh if this is based on a real story and you got some - cheers mate.)

  4. No, not a true story. Hell, third year doesn't even end for another month. Bloody exams. 50's chick exists, though. Yea. Oh Yeah.

    But I don't know her or anything. Just perv from a distance. Oh no.

  5. (also is cheers mate is a dorky thing to say I blame BBC television but I do like that expression and I fully embrace my dorky nature)

  6. feck I can't type for shit.
    the first is should be an if. that makes the sentence make more sense

  7. Under Siege is fucking class. 50's chick has great shoes and great hair.

  8. Best part of Under Seige is when naked lady pops out of the cake. I know this was wank fodder for all of you when you were pre teens. don't lie.


  9. wank fodder, what a great expression. Hey, Erika Eleniak is hot, especially when shes jumping out of a cake.

  10. Yeah I know. I have an uncanny connection with teenage boys. (um no NOT that kind of connection geez. I may be slutty but I'm not a pedophile.)

  11. I bet the teenage boys are pissed its not THAT kind of connection.

  12. Is hot 50's chicks name really Lisa?