Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Emit Evitagen

The fridge door is flapping open… shut… open… shut. Or should that be shut… open… shut… open? Ugh, I dunno. My brain doesn’t work under these conditions. It seems to clam up, shut its eyes and mumble to itself until it’s over. When Negative Time began, I was just eating a sandwich, which was prepared in the fridge. I thought I could fit it in but I was wrong.
And so I find myself repeating the last 5 seconds of my life. It happened when I was taking the last bite. My hand is holding the final corner of the cheese sandwich, lifting it to my mouth. My eyes are half shut as I close the fridge door and BANG. Colours inverse, the room takes on that twisty, wavy, Wayne’s World flashback vibe. That is what it looks like, feels like. Negative Time. Like a dream you’re aware of but can’t control. A nightmare, I guess.
Nobody knows how longs it lasts or even when it began but I believe it lasts for years. Just the same five seconds repeating for every human, every animal and every plant on earth for perhaps a lifetime. But when it ends nothing is older by even a microsecond.
A year, or fifty, or a million, ago scientists tried to measure Negative Time. Tried to measure how long it lasts and measure it’s physical magnitude. Does it extend only around our planet or does it affect the universe? Of course, their instruments don’t detect a thing. If they could speak, they’d say “Whatcha talkin’ about?”
So, as it goes, my hand drops to my side and the fridge door closes for the night. I climb into bed and dream my worries away. In the morning I get up and go to work. Tonight, I am either going to find a good woman who wants to experience the longest orgasm of her life or I am going to sleep early. Either way, I’m going to enjoy it.


  1. I think Sabi and/or I would volunteer for the first option.

  2. Definately. I think Robert could handle us both. Sharing is caring.

  3. The astute among you will notice that Rob never said he'd give the "good woman" the orgasm. He just said he'd find a woman who wanted one. I imagine if he spoke at all to his mother that evening it would have been mission accomplished.

  4. Daly, I would like you to refrain from speaking about my mother in the context from now on, lest I get pumped up and abuse you.

  5. Robert. beat his ass.

    We are astute enough to know that Robert would give us good women orgasms regardless of the wording of that sentence.

  6. Can I make a request?

    Can you please change the link to my blog to my marquis one? I'll be putting more effort into that with more polished work. It won't suck as much as high colonic (hopefully) it could actually suck a lot but I hope not. Plus High C has disappeared to some great unknown at the moment.

    Danke meine Herren.

  7. Could you throw the link for it here in this comment box? Purleese.

  8. www.lamarquisedesabe.blogspot.com

    Is it correct?

  9. La Marquis De Sabe... I like it... and it's linked. Keine problemo.

  10. thanks Jessie & Robert

    La Marquise has brain damange today

  11. Oh Robert the marquis in the title should be "marquise"

    cuz I'm a girl

    sorry to be picky but with all these gay porn sites impersonating me as a fellow I am becoming a little defensive over my gender.

    my apologies