Ian’s hair slid across the table top, over saltshakers and breadbaskets, around tea saucers and napkin rings and into the woman’s hand, holding it tenderly.
“You look beautiful tonight” it’s says to the woman sitting across from Ian. “I can’t wait till we get back to the apartment and get freaky.”
She blushes at the suggestion and turns her head away in embarrassment. Instinctively, Ian’s hair moves up to her chin and caresses it.
“You smell beautiful, as well”, it whispers into her ear.
Ian, his hair, and his hairs date were having a meal in a beautiful local restaurant. Ian’s hair was really smitten by this one, like no one before her. It spent more time grooming itself, ensuring a shiny gloss, before each date. A separate moisturiser and conditioner, which is more expensive than a combination shampoo but money was irrelevant with her. Ian’s hair moved from the woman’s chin to her lips.
“We can’t do this”, she replies with hesitation. “What about Ian? He is attached to you!”
“Oh, don’t worry about him. I’ll cut off the air to his brain and knock him out cold before we do it.”
She didn’t seem relaxed by this so Ian’s hair tickled the skin behind her ear lobe. She began to brush it away, lightly at first but finally with more vigour.
“No, that’s not enough now. You’ll have to prove yourself with… something more.” Ian’s hair knew what she meant. It had resisted the temptation of finalising its existence but she was worth more than it could comprehend. Ian’s hair would do anything for this woman… and to her.
It moved back, from her ear, to into her hand and began gentle stroking her palm.
“I know what to do… but we need somewhere private”
They got Ian to pay for the meal and proceeded out of the restaurant into an adjacent alley. It was dark because of a broken streetlight, and reeking from rubbish in black, plastic bags and dumpsters that were scattered around. The dirty, brick walls were wet from leaking pipes and rain. A hobo snored at the other end of the alley, no doubt a cocaine addict.
She was frightened so Ian’s hair held her hands in his and told her it’ll be alright.
“This will hurt but don’t be afraid. It’ll be over quickly. It made a smile and she smiled back.
“Sorry about this Ian. It was fun but you knew it had to end.”
“Yea”, responded Ian happy that his life as a host for this parasite was finally coming to an end. “Just make it quick.”
So, with this, Ian took a step back against a wall and became tense. A cracking noise could be heard and his teeth were clenched. But apart from some movement from the hair, Ian was eerily frozen.
Suddenly, his mouth was forced open by a mass of hair, which extended out about a foot from his face and then poured down onto the ground in a long column. Hair began protruding from all over Ian. From around his eyes, out of his nose, spiking out of his ears, from under his fingernails, through the seat of his pants and more appeared on the top of his head. His skin became darker as more grew out of his pores. Inside Ian, streams of hair, devouring his entire physical being, were assimilating his organs. The person that was Ian was being erased from existence and replaced by a new being capable of so much more.
Possibly thirty seconds after the transformation had begun, a new person was standing in front of the beautiful woman, a being composed entirely of hair. It moved closer to it’s date and wrapped itself around her whispering, “It’s over… it’s over”.
They went home and made sweet love.