Thursday, May 05, 2005

Oedipus

Robert sat in his nappy sucking his mothers’ tit. Robert was twenty-one years old but was nursed daily. Also, he had a nappy-rash from just wearing the same unwashed cloth for two weeks.
“"I love you mammy”", he said affectionately to his mother.
“"I love you too, son"”, she replied, tired of living.
"No, mammy, I really love you. I really, really do, poo poo."”
On hearing this, mammy beats Robert to death with an iron rod and then gnaws her own hands off.

End.

44 comments:

  1. This one is for Bond.
    See, Bond, doesn't hurt.

    It's also the companion piece to your story as well.

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  2. This is majorly twisted. At least the mother beat this wretched piece of scum to death thus ending his grotesque existence.

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  3. Here people, does anyone know if and how one can upload video clips to a blog?

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  4. I would presume you would need a host for the clip.... but I don't know for sure.

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  5. Hey slow down egg head, give it to me in english.

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  6. So I take it this blog is FUBAR.

    Abandon ship. Start a new one.

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  7. No Daly, you're FUBAR. You can scurry away to some hipster, wannabe, nosejob blog if you want but this is where its at boy. This is reality, motherfucker.

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  8. Daly... you just wouldn't understand the love between a man and his mother.

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  9. That's a relief. Come on lads we're losing the edge. There's been nothing insightful or inflammatory posted in (what feels like) ages. I was writing something but it fricking balooned to 3 pages and counting.

    What have you got there Ian? Throw out some gold for us.

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  10. I'm working on something, but exams are such a drain. Everything just turns out shit.

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  11. Oh My God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Some of u may already know other not yet,
    Im MEETING DESTINYS CHILD!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

    Ian suggests I say

    "Hi, My name is Ger, Im the hottest guy in Ireland and my friend Ian thinks your hott, heres his phone number"

    Rob suggests I say

    "Hi Im the hottest guy in Ireland" and have a foursome

    Oh god, those girls!!!! those fine sexy girls!

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  12. Under what circumstances are you meeting them?

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  13. meet & greet, thats merely a polite way of saying dirty, filty, sweaty, cock-filled orgy. At least it was when I was in the music business.

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  14. Oh please god it still is, please god

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  15. Just a twenty second hello? Before or after the gig?

    You should get a t-shirt printed with something fucking disgraceful on it like "I want to anally rape Beyonce Knowles" but then be really nice and polite the whole time. See if they notice.

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  16. Yes! Yes! Do that! Anally rape! Fucking legend. You have to, that would uncontrollably funny. This blog just got its edge back. Thank you Daly.

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  17. Im not sure how long it will be, but Im not expecting an orgy or a big conversation, jst to see them and them to see ME would be cool

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  18. Daly, that idea is fucking brilliant. Fucking funny as shit. What is it Rob says - hur hur hur.

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  19. whatever. I've done ALL those girls Who the hell you do think that "Say my Name" song is about? That's right I was three timing on all of them and kept getting them confused.
    "Say my name" is also what I use to tell them when I dildo fucked them. I can tell you right now Beyonce's hair ain't real. Once I tugged it a little too hard when I was doing her doggy style with my strap-on and a chunk of her weave fell out. Poor girl.
    They were all so sweet and innocent before me.

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  20. lads the ticket cost €300, a friend of mine bought it from the fanclub, Im not gonna mess up my chance of meeting those fine ... Fine,...fine

    My brother says I better grab her ass,
    But honestly lads when u have beyonce in ur face would u really have the balls to do that...?

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  21. I used to grab that ass every Friday night.

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  22. That's exactly why you should do something outrageous. Get a friend to take a few pics while you're talking (and wearing the tshirt). If they don't notice then just publish the pics on the net and become an urban legend. If they do notice then they will NEVER forget you.

    Win:Win

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  23. Man i don't care whats real and whats not. Im gonna see HER AND TOUCH HER, LEGEND!

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  24. Thats true daly, win win situation, They'll NEVER forget me either way... Do u think anyone would stop me b4 I approach them though?

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  25. just keep it in yer pants man. that's all I gotta say.

    You do know that if you attempt to touch her in some bad way her big HUGE body guard will kick the shit out of you.
    plus you ain't me.

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  26. WEAR THE FUCKING SHIRT.

    Sabi, did you take any pictures?

    Which one is the nastiest?

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  27. Wear a sweater or some shit, or a loose shirt and then be all like "oh, its so warm in your presense" and BAM! out comes the shirt to end all shirts.

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  28. Thats what Im means lads, some big ass black guy with flat my flat down to the floor if I do anything wrong

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  29. Ian - you know how I am. You know I got polaroid and even a few videos.
    Kelly is by far the freakiest. That girl is all kinds of nasty.

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  30. Big ass black guy?, come on Ger. Kelly isn't that hot but theres no need to say that about her.

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  31. Ger would be right. Their body guard is a BIG ASS BLACK DUDE. he's fucking huge.
    no joke.

    Everyone knows the ugly girls are always the freakiest. Beyonce's a little too prissy for my tasts.

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  32. I misread you comment Ian. I think you're a bit of a turd.

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  33. oh........
    *dreams quietly*
    Their all so hott, ALL of them Kelly, Michelle, beyoncé!

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  34. Ian is a smudge of excrement on a tissue surging out to sea with a million tons of raw sewage

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  35. Damn, thats just plain hurtful. Thanks. Another night of crying myself to sleep it is then.

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  36. Here Daly, what posts have you regarded as insightful or inflammatory, in the past?

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  37. well rob the main difference is that when we are at dans i can respond immediately and its mainly for entertainment purposes at dans.Also as i already told you i lack your dynamic writing style so its a bit of a mismatch in that i have'nt wrote a story in about 5 years.and i dont have any reason to dislike you.i also thought you had no reason to dislike me either.so as you see i have no need to slag you off.and i would'nt bother slagging Daly cause he is pure bitterness and dedicated as fuck and he has alot more free time and access to internet than i do.it would pain me to admit defeat to that sadistic bastard so ill just leave.post what you like from now on as im switching my custom to the FIST cause at least i dont get abused for wanting to read some entertaining stories.Don't feel bad the way ye go on i must be a right shit of a human being anyway!!!!!!!!!!!!!!that and your blog is definitely going downhill when all ye do is slag each other.

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  38. Jesus Christ, Bond. I insulted the shit out of myself for you.

    Anyway, I don't believe you are as angry as you are trying to make yourself out to be. You can't take that story, which is so obviously not true, as bad as you are taking it. I don't believe it, for a second.

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  39. Jesus Bond, is it your time of the month? Stop being such a prissy little bitch. It's totally for entertainment purposes here, which is why I asked you to respond, even if you want to slag the head off me. I'll even post it up for you.

    Don't come out with crap about not writing in ages. Your response there was longer than some blog entries. Give it a shot - it's just for a laugh. I hadn't written anything in ages either.

    Also we're not abusing you for wanting to read entertaining stories - the opposite in fact. We're making the stories more entertaining by *including* you. See. See.

    So dry your eyes mate, 'cos obviously as i've said before, like, there's plenty more games in Group B.

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  40. Good old Ian. Never backs down.

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