Sunday, May 01, 2005

Piece Of Mind

In my dream last night, I talked to God. At first it was about nothin’, you know, the weather and old black and white movies, that kinda thing. He really likes old black and white movies, God. I don’t know much about them myself but that doesn’t stop him. He’d bleat on for hours about one he first watched 60 years ago and again everyday since. Omnipresence must be a blessin’, I suppose, but I wouldn’t really know.
Anyway, before he left and I woke up, he asked me a question sorta off the cuff. He asked, “How old will you be when you die?”
Man, that ticked me off. How would he like if I asked him black questions like that? How old will I be? Jeez. So, I just said, “Old enough to know better.”
And I’ll tell you somethin’. He liked that. God liked my answer. Said he never heard anything like it before. That put me in a good mood when I woke up.

61 comments:

  1. haha that was good
    You deserve a cookie

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  2. Is omnipresence the same as omnipotence?

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  3. Nope, something could be omnipresent without being omnipotent. However unlikely either of them sound.

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  4. So you dreamt about me, then? That's cool, cos I dreamt about you too.

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  5. Yeah? Was I a woman in your dream?

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  6. No, just yourself. I'll try and post my dream later on. Ian was there too.

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  7. You are going to have to give physical descriptions of Ian and I.

    I look forward to it... unless it's all S&M and kinky shit.... then I'm wetting myself in anticipation.

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  8. LOLO

    I can't wait to hear a description of your mental image of Rob

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  9. That reminds me. Jessie and I want to bug both of you (Robert & Daly) to get on myspace along with us so that way you can post pictures of yourself there and we will have another place to bug you.

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  10. I'm all up for it! where do I sign?

    As for Ian, I already what he looks like thanks to his MySpace pics (quite a dish!)

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  11. Not gonna happen. I'm too fragile to be paraded on the Internet. And inversely, Daly is too much of a mega boy to be coerced into anything by women.

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  12. Roughly translated as Rob is a pussy and Daly a homosexual.

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  13. What if we told you we were Yakuza and if you don't join you'll find yourself beheaded in a Japanese parking like that guy in the movie Black Rain.

    If that doesn't work we could be high level persuasion bots

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  14. You'd have to be a Grade A Jedi. The fucking Marlon Brando of Jedi to persaude us. And this would have to include, for me anyway, a cow bell.

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  15. There can only be one Highlander!!!

    Oh and just so you all know I'm a Grade A+ Jedi. Oh yeah.

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  16. Or we could take those pin-up pics we once talked about. And not show them ANYTHING!!!
    That's good blackmail, I reckon.

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  17. You know what, I'm pretty sure I have a picture of Rob lying around here somewhere, its just a matter of finding it and scanning the motherfucker in.

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  18. Great idea Jessie. Pins ups of us in thick ugly burlap sacks. maybe if they are lucky a hint of red wollen sock covered ankle. How shocking.

    Rob- I gotta have more cowbell!

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  19. Yeah!

    (Sabi, I can feel a Worldwide Duelling Eyebrow Competition is going to take place between the lads and Martin. My heart will go to the winner)

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  20. Ian if you are a high level grade A+ Jedi will you presuade them for us? Think of the reqards - Jessie and Sabi's ankles in red wool socks!
    How can you resist such temptation?

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  21. Man, I just fucking broke my earphones... fuck.
    Don't go scanning Ian. If I shall be revealed, I want to be the one revealing.

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  22. Girls always ask me "Oh Ian, your eyebrows, they are so....so....so perfect. Do you pluck them?" I always reply with "No fucking way, you loon."

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  23. Jessie - as much as an asscracker as Martin his I'm going to put my money on him. He has the original esperanto eyebrow of power.

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  24. I only use my powers to obtain free Apple Pie at McDonalds and to chop shit up with my light sabre.

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  25. My heart is BROKEN! Ian just made fun of girls who love eyebrows.

    Ian, Martin is going to kick your ass.

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  26. Sabi>> No-one can defeat Martin... except perhaps Count Olaf, because he's got a unibrow. But then, he's not real.
    Ian>> mmm, Light Sabre... I'm loving it..

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  27. I'm not making fun! All through school girls used to ask me that. I was offended at first untill my friend Karen pointed out I had perfectly formed eye brows.

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  28. You do, Ian. You do. More than me.

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  29. Martin told me I smelled like a crocodile, I told him I bite like one too. Showed him.

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  30. Jessie I just orgasmed all over my chair at the mention of unibrow. God I need to lick some eyebrows fast!
    OO I'm going to rent that movie tonight and get it on in my dreams with sweet Count Olaf.

    BUT do his eyebrows speak Esperanto?? I think that is the real question. Martin's left eyebrow also knows the ancient art of home decoration, Feng Shui.

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  31. when you talk to god does he talk back to you...

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  32. Fucking hell, his eyebrows know everything!!! I'm sooo jealous.

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  33. And everything just ground to a stop. The paper mills closed... the shops emptied and shut... the corpses were left on the street corners. All was as it was.

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  34. This blog is coming like a ghost town.

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  35. Ian- first you steal my most beloved ladies from right under my nose and I do not believe you even wear red socks however strong your Esperanto powers are.

    I have spent the last 3 mintues consoling Sabine as you have broken her heart with your careless words referring to girls with the sensibilities to appreciate powerful eyebrows as "loons."

    I've come here today to chew bubble gum and kick ass... and I'm all out of bubble gum.

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  36. @ Plucky, I see you've got a bit of an install going on there in the boot (trunk?) bud. Nice one.

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  37. Hey Guys,

    Lads remember I told you about that film my brother was makin, i went along to a shoot just there and I got to take Still Picture of it all happening. I'll bring in my camera to show yeah, I told ye it was gansta limerick, whoa man, the girls on my camera!

    There you go Ian, you see the way people ask do you pluck your eye brows, I feel excatly the same way with my tan, "Do you wear fake tan?", I've also had the eye brow comment too...

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  38. Yea.... woah. Girls always ask me "why do you stare at us that way." And I just say that it's all the eyebrows baby. Then they normally kick me in the groin.

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  39. Yeah kick him in the groin while admiring my magnificent dress sense and perfect eyebrows.

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  40. No not really, I know someone who did a thesis on the establishment of an auxillary world language though. So some of the work was based on Esperanto and I picked some up. It's really easy to learn if you french or spanish.

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  41. Yeah! I was dead interested in it for ages... and I never knew you knew... oh, the Gods have smiled upon us this great day. If only those damn cylons weren't perpually after us... Grrrr.

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  42. The trick to wooing ladies is stroking their hand and tell them they are beautiful. This works best if you do not know them. If they do not let you stroke their hand they are probably Russian and should not be trusted.

    Sabine - despite the fact I know you are Swedish I think you are a Russian deep within your icy cold heart b/c you never let me stroke your hand and tell me I am a gross asscracker. I will admite you play an intriguing game.

    Jessie - I pine for you day and night. I even yelled at my girlfriend for you last night. Then I wept your name as I was arrested and dragged the police station.

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  43. I can tell the Cylons to give it a rest for a while - for educational purposes.

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  44. We're losing our edge. But I might post something new soon. To regain the edge. But I mightn't because E4 kicks ass tonight.

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  45. Talk about stuff like, ummm Destinys Childs new song and how GREAT it is, that will sharpen your edge nicely

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  46. Whats on E4? If its really good I might dash downstairs and do some TV watching

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  47. Yea, the internet. And what exactly did you download? The cool movie or the Shins stuff.

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  48. Oh the cool movie, not the shins. I forgot the shins.

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  49. Coolio. Fletch 2 is on RTE 2 right now. And The Larry Sanders show was just on. From way back in the nineties. Dana Delany from China Beach was on it as well. Fucking hell.

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  50. What Shin stuff? I love the Shins Aren;t they supposedly coming out with a new album soon?

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  51. Shin is Kens arch-nemesis. They're both in love with Julia. Ken punched a hole through Shins hand.

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