In the year 2005 after a landmark ruling in Kansas, schools historically decided to stop teaching Darwinism, or the Evolution Theory, and started teaching Creationism – or the bible. Initially this was seen as a bad move with one notable scientist having this to say: “Fucking Christian retards.” After time however it became quickly obvious that hundreds of years of scientific research by greatest minds on earth was entirely wrong.
After a collection of religious pricks came along and claimed that the world was created 6000 years ago and insisted that no-one could prove otherwise, small minded fuckheads started to agree. After all, if one cannot understand something, it must definitely be wrong. Since that initial announcement they have waited like bloated piles of infected rot for science to reach a stumbling block in their knowledge. Instead of waiting for them to research and analyse new theories they instantly started mewling “I told you so” like fucking babies. They continued to do this until people started listening.
The first off the block was Middle America. So wrapped up in their own arses they embraced creationism quickly – unwilling to believe that humanity as we know it is not the centre of the universe, despite the fact that America as we know it has only been around for a few hundred years. Let’s not, however, let truth, fact or intelligence get in the way of some ridiculous beliefs.
Through the medium of television, advertising, and the gullibility of today’s youth these ideas spread quickly across the world. Museums were shut down and any item over 6000 years old was destroyed. Despite the fact that the fucking morons weren’t going to church, ‘cos it was uncool they were still willing to believe that god created everything over the course of a week and that civilisation as we know it was all created in one day.
Eventually the whole world embraced the idea of creationism, to such an extent that when some aliens from Proxima Centauri landed they started fucking puking at the stupidity of humanity.
A small group of insurgents, led by The Rage remained indomitable however. They realised that strict Darwinism didn’t have all the answers, but certainly pointed the way, as opposed to Creationism, which is a pile of the most putrid shit imaginable. They were hunted across the globe by religious zealots who didn’t realise the power of The Rage. As the bodies of the stupid piled higher and higher a strange transformation of public opinion began to take place. They began to realise that they were being retarded, perhaps spurred by the threats The Rage was making constantly against everyone. By this time however the entire universe had heard of the stupidity of mankind and they would never receive credence from their galactic neighbours. To this day they are scorned across the galaxy, and the word “human” is used universally as one of the most offensive insults known.