Wednesday, June 08, 2005

The Rest Is

I return to the shop full of vengeance and carrying fuel. It was noon and I hadn't eaten breakfast yet. The sun was beating it's rays down on my face trying to convince me to turn around and forget this indiscretion. I shake my fist at the sun.
"How dare you judge me. Were you not already on fire, you would have been soon."
I kick the shop door down. The counterman was still there, serving a red demon with bloody spikes for hair. The hooved one was buying a bottle of Coke and a snickers. Two of Satans worst inventions.
"I would advise both of you to leave them premises peacefully and do not return. I am burning this motherfucker down."
The demon farted a bellowing flame and leapt down the back of the shop to Hell. But the counterman took no hint and stood firm where he was. So, I demonstrated my fury to him by setting his top shelf video rentals on fire. Laughing maniacally and pointing and the smoking tape pile, I scream "LEAVE THIS PLACE FOR SOON IT SHALL BE BUT A BONFIRE."
The counterman opened his mouth but a little and a booming voice exploded out.
"Young man, I have lived through seven wars and four wives. I have had all of my internal organs replaced. I have slept with queens and paupers. I have killed men twice the size of you and twice as young. This is my shop and I ain't leaving for no-one."
I repect this man more than my father. He is a hero and after I burned down his sop with him in it, I wrote to An Phoist to enquire if I could get a commemorative stamp published.

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