Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Correspondence

Ricardo
Have you finished the device yet? My men are waiting impatiently.

Archibald
The project is coming to fruition, you're men can wait. Without me the enterprise is sunk.

Ricardo
Damn you, you cunning thief. We shall wait, but be it on your head if the war is lost.

Archibald
We have been able to increase the power of the device ten fold, bite your lip and await its delivery. You will get your precious device. As long as I receive my payment.

Ricardo
My men tally the amount as we speak, but forgive me if brown stains the green, as my men are not as patient and reverent as I.

Archibald
Your men are mere overgrown children. Unmarked bills, motherfucker.

Ricardo
I will honour our agreement. And upon delivery of the device, I shall add a bonus of ten percent, say, for your good work. That is, if I am still alive in this blasted war.

Archibald
Perhaps if you spent more time engaged in combat than passionately salivating over your own posterior you would not be so fretful about your chances for survival in this mere skirmish.

I will insist on having the porcelain gorilla by mid-night, as per prior agreement.

Ricardo
Then it is settled. By midnight, the war shall be won to those savages to the east. And they shall be the ones to salivate over my hindquarters, to prune it with weak spittle. All the while I shall laugh and eat the food they have reaped.

3 comments:

  1. With more than a little help from Ian. Alotta help. It's 50% Ian.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Awwww yeah! I was thinking this would m ake a great post

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yeah, we should do this again, all impromtu. Impromtoo. Impromtus.
    Whatever.
    Randomosity.

    ReplyDelete