Thursday, July 07, 2005

Olympics + London = Terrorism

Perhaps an odd equation but after today’s events in London a valid one nonetheless, as seven terrorists explosions have rocked the capital crippling public transportation systems and overloading the mobile phone networks with panicked calls from worried Londoners. Reports have come in from Arab sources stating that the Islamic fundamentalist organisation Al Qaeda are most certainly responsible for the attacks and Government officials couldn’t be more proud.
“We’ve waited years for a terrorist attack”, announced British Prime Minister Tony Blair at a special conference held just minutes ago. “Only now, have we truly reached the highest echelon in our society, as to suffer the privilage of a barbaric terrorist attack by the hand of those Iraqi bastards.” And news outlets echo Mr. Blair’s sentiments.
Sky News reporter Mark White, who is on the scene of one of the explosions in Kings Cross, is notably excited at the vision of the seriously injured casualties being lead from the site of the explosion by emergency services.
“Yes, PM Blair has a valid point”, noted the roving reporter, “London can now by counted among the greatest cities in the world, with New York and Madrid for example, as cities powerful enough to be despised among those poor bastards in the East.”
But what is clear at this stage is that these attacks are much less well co-ordinated that the 9/11 attacks, with only two reported deaths so far. It seems that they were preformed for effect rather than total overall damage. But the Prime Minister doesn’t see this as a threat to London’s significance as a major international city.
“It doesn’t matter whether two people are killed or two thousand, an attack is an attack. But I must stress that whatever terrorists do, they will never succeed. I was on the phone to George and he agrees; those bastards will rot in Christian hell.”
Stirring words, but are they enough?


  1. Don't you think it had to do with the G8 summit?

  2. Yeah it might... But I wasn't erring on the side of facts here.

  3. But the first thought that crossed my mind about the attack was the Olympics.

  4. Why would Tony phone George when they were both in Gleneagles together? If it was to do with the Olympics the attack would have been scheduled for yesterday when the result of the bid was being released and far more people were using public transportation but that would have been a stupid idea as there was a 50/50 chance that Paris would win the bid so in my opinion this attack was intended to coincide with the opening of the G8 summit.

    Further to this, since you're post is hours old this attack does appear to be quite co-ordinated, seeing as every blast occured within minutes of each other. it just didnt utilise air craft which are far more glamorous than trains and buses. 1,000 injured and 33 killed so far seems like a pretty bad effect to me.

  5. 33! Shit! I didn't realise it was that high.

    Anyone know the current tally of Eyerackies dead from that other terrorist attack?

    In other developments, I hope that nobody has relatives among the injured or dead.

    Robert, I really enjoyed that, though I wish you didn't pull the reigns so hard. Giddy up!

  6. Rob does this mean you are back? Or is this another start stop job?

  7. Start Stop. But maybe I might do some more. The big thing I'm writing doesn't seem to want to come together like Paris Hiltons legs.
    It might be wise just to take my mind off it and perform other miracles instead.

  8. Yeah other miracles like getting a job. Zing.