Sunday, July 24, 2005

Toes

And the toes wonder to themselves:
“Hey, what are we for?”
And their owner wiggles them a little in the shoe, a stray hair irritating the littlest toe, which turns to the side. All five are sweaty, rubbing against each other. There is no satisfaction to be had, crumpled into a boot a size too small, ragged nails tearing at woollen sock, itchy skin. The toes sigh and imagine better uses for themselves than to be at the bottom of the body.
The big toe, frugal to the last, imagines the five go picking up loose change. A noble talent he convinces himself, as the owner might need the correct toll amount double quick. And he smiles at his idea.
The second toe, lanky, thin and always the practical one, supposes they are for walking, for pushing the foot off the ground, and for balance. The toe appeased, falls asleep, curled like a pigs tail.
The third toe in the middle of the bustle, always warm, prefers a more sensual proposal. That toes are for pleasure, as receptacles for the tongue, to be sucked and slide across teeth, the owner should yelp for air. And satisfied, the third toe perks up and stretches his full length.
And the fourth toe, second to last and oft ignored, lays stumped at the idea that there is purpose to existence, instead wonders what it would be like outside the shoe and maybe more north of the foot. Yes, how would it be to live on the hand, maybe with a ring around the base? And the toe imagines this scenario for as long as he can, so as to escape his reality.
And finally, the baby toe hums and haws, squeaks and squabbles and most of all grumbles. Toes, he is sure, are for stepping on, for crunching and crushing, for twisting and twirling, for abusing. So, as always, the littlest toe folds into itself and under its closest neighbour, safe from wild extremities.

34 comments:

  1. I've read this probably three times and each time I have come to the same conclsion, what the fuck?

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  2. I haven't posted anything like this on Lennon & McCartney in a while so instead of MySpace, where this probably would have gone, I threw it up here.

    I like it. Five little toes.

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  3. But Rob, we have 6 toes. Crazy bastard. Oh no wait, I get it, thats why its creative!

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  4. Clap, clap, clap, clap.

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  5. foshizzle my Robidizzle Sixizlle toezizzles. Thats the real mothershizzle dizzle my nizzle.

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  6. Yo Snoop-Bot my man... can I get some of that spliff if you are passing it around?

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  7. Jozizzle you better on my leftshizzle get my dizzledazzle?

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  8. Yep, his as was blown out of his face... disgusting but impressive.

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  9. Foshizzle corodizzle with the 9 millizizzle. Kabamadizzle up the rearnizzlenozzle

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  10. The coroner not understand what Snoop just said becomes impervious to the bullet.

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  11. What the fushizzle? I am the mo'fuckin d-o-double Gwizzlewazzle mofizzlefazzle. Aint no ass face explosion-dizzle gonna stop the dog. Foshizzle my nizzles.

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  12. Bah wah wah. Boo boo.

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  13. Gidizzle Dazzle, why you gots to be so ignorant boy! It's "Bah wah wizzle Bodizzle Wizzle"

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  14. Bah wah wizzle Bodizzle Wizzle, for sho'.

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  15. What Ian! You're Snoop Bot?

    Or are you too in cahoots to dethrone Joyce as the greatest mind, eva.

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  16. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  17. That dumb mofizzlefuzzle is just trying to steal my props, fo sho. Im the real mother deal boy. I'm gonna waste that red faced motherfucker.

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  18. Oh its true, its true! I just waned some props and street cred so I could be down with the bloods and that other moderately famous gang. The craps I think their name is.

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  19. The cribs you fool... Fuck the bloods, they is only pussies, for real.

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  20. I was momentarily impressed by the number of comments there. "I'm impressed by the number of comments here," I thought. Then I found out that they were all yourself...

    This is not the first foot themed story I have read on here. A sinister pattern is emerging.

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  21. Yeah, I am a serial repeater. A motif making, ice cream baker... or something.

    Babies is another popular one.
    Animals. Alot of animals.
    Death. Tons of dead people.
    Pieces of my body falling off or just going away... I do that too much.

    Yep.

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  22. Also God gets plenty of schtick from me. In fact I have another God related story lined up.

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  23. It better not be about an ancient civilisation who built a giant hand gun to shoot God or I'm suing!

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  24. Some people got busizzle here, then went off to my blog to prolong the battle... while I was sleeping. Next time, let me know. Or don't do it while I'm asleep.

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  25. No Kelly, it's more spectacular than that.

    Ok Jessie, I'll give you a buzz... although it's spontanious.... and usually happens at night. So, unless you are up...

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  26. Shit! some of us have a life, you know.

    Those people I know not of. I suppose they exist. But has it been proved?

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  27. "Those people I know not of. I suppose they exist. But has it been proved?"

    Say What?

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  28. I LOVE This story.
    I heart to to death

    We should all be like the middle toe again.. I call for a revolution of pie and chocolate sause. All in favor raise your middle toe.

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  29. I have my middle toe standing at attention.

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  30. I was talking about people who DO have a life, assuming they exist. Keep up, man!

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  31. Oh right... I knew that... yea... I was just messing. Yeah.

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