Tuesday, October 18, 2005

The prod of mental instability

I was in college today. I like to learn, to expand my horizons and enrich my intellect. I was avidly awaiting the commencement of another fascinating Commercial Law lecture when a series of disturbing events unfolded. I had my notebook open, the page perfectly ruled, my pen was uncapped and ready to be put to work. I was smiling gleefully at the thought of what we might be learning about Trade Marks today. Then it happened.

I began to become aware of a primal grunting off to my right. I pivoted in my seat and was shocked by what I saw. Some sort of caveman, hunched over, burly and thoroughly unpleasant looking. He grunted at me again and sat next to me. The tension could have been cut with a blunt butter knife. I sat back in my seat trying to give off an air of comfort and cool. Suddenly I felt a poking in my ribs, I once again turned to my right and discovered neanderman poking me and gesturing at my elbow. I had inadvertenly brushed against him with my manly, muscular elbow. Shock. Horror. I humbly apologised. Moments later the lecture started in earnest and I eagerly began taking notes. Suddenly I felt the same poking. I turned again, this time neanderman was crudely gesturing at his worn notebook. I could hardly believe what I saw, in his primal scrawl he had insulted me. It read something like this "Ian (arrow pointing to the left) fuck you. More shock and horror. He began laughing at me, spewing gallons of acidic saliva into the air and my face. It burned. He slammed his ham-like fists against the desk, sending splinters of plywood everywhere while all the time laughing at me. I realise that most of you can probably hardly believe this tale is true, that is why with my ninja like reflexes I snapped off a few quick pictures to lend credence to my story.









As you can tell this isn't the handwriting, of a sane, sociall well adjusted individual. No, not at all. This scrawling text is just an indication of a more deep-rooted and sinister issue. I sat quietly in my seat for the rest of class, my arms neatly tucked into my sides, desperately wanting to avoid further conflict with the sloped-brow boffoon. As I was leaving class I tried to snap off a covert picture of the scientific anomaly but he noticed my secretive attempts and hit me square in the jaw with a fierce uppercut. So this is all I got:





I only hope I never have to sit next to this creature of despair and evil again.

14 comments:

  1. That was Rob it take it?

    Is that some sort of Action Man doll underneath his book?

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  2. Yeah, that head is freaky... underneath the book... it's actually a full sized individual... and the notebook is elephantine...
    True story too... and fix your damn spelling... were it not so enjoyable I would be mega-mad about now.

    Uh, my word verification word thing is 'kanoon'... what a nice word.

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  3. And excuse my damned ignorance Daly... but is your previous post at all to do with Ninja Gaiden... I mean, it doesn't need to be... but it couyld be read that way... And I am totally curious.

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  4. Yeah I'm totally into your interpretation of what I wrote. Cheers Rob, nice work.

    To answer your question directly, no, it's not all to do with Ninja Gaiden. But as you've noted Ninja fits into the scope of it. And so it should.

    I'm not going to say any more, for the same reason I refused the comments option.

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  5. There'll be another Ninja post, "The Prelude to Pain." on thursday, reflecting on things Ninja in general.

    The real deal starts friday nite/sat morning.

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  6. Ho ho ho... I'm going to start taking insult notes to try on you... and break you... I want to see a dead Daly at the end of this...



    Jesus....

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  7. Well if you'd read my previous post you'd realise that that's impossible.

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  8. To be honest, the best thing for you to do is wait til the barrage of "This game is making me hate myself" posts and just start putting the boot in then.

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  9. Okay... I will take your advice... but beware, I was only fucking about before... You will feel physical pain the next time I insult you...

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  10. Land over to Neutralising the PH level dudes and catch the recent updates. Fnuuy Stfuu

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  11. Jaysus. Fucking hell. Just back from Des Bishop. He's one funny man. Funny. Funny. Funny. He captured the essence of Limerick so well. UCH was rank with laughter.

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  12. and not just the usual rank? noble

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  13. It may have been Kim Beezley sitting next to you, broken and scattered from his failed leadership campaign all those years ago.

    I hear he's been walking the streets with a trained attack ferret, terrorising anyone who shows displeasure at his foul, inane grunting.

    Maybe it was daryl sommers?

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