Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Das Experiment: Clearly Deranged

Patient A:
This fucker says you are on… are you?

Patient B:
Yeah

Patient A:
How is the project going, big boy?

Patient B:
Its not really.

Patient A:
Hmmm, I thought we agreed you would do the ground work while I sit around and get fatter.

Patient B:
Yeah, you're really letting the side down. Bitch.

Patient A:
Anyway, I have yet another blog... this one is sure to be short lived because I am just bitching about other bloggers on it... but so far it's proving to be fucking calming in a bitch-about-other-people kind of a way...
Do you want the link?

Patient B:
Yes, posthaste.

Patient A:
Just for the count, I think this is my fifth blog... though it could be a sixth.
[Link Verboten]

Patient A (cont.):
Are you reading it or what are you doing?

Patient B:
I read it. I enjoyed it. I applaud you.

Patient A:
Yeah well... you're next bitch...

Patient B:
Jolly good, I look forward to it.

Patient A:
Nah, I'm only messing.
City Fist is next.
Hey, did you get my e-mails?
Like a little hungry puppy I am.

Patient B:
Cityfucker more like. Yeah I got all your emails. I download that shit at some stage.

Patient A:
Transience is a friend to the city fucker... they are not too different, those two. Like peas caught in teeth. Two peas. The number of peas matching that of fuckers.

Patient B:
You are odd.

Patient A:
Well someone has to be odd. Otherwise how is one meant to know when someone else is being a bastard/bitch. They compare them to me.
'Oh', they say, 'Oh I cannot quite tell if they are being meanies. Hmmm, I will compare them to that silly person over there, using him as a metre. Oh, i see clearly now. They are fucking cunts.'
See, easy.

Patient B:
yeah......here do you recognise this number: [Verboten]

Patient A:
Not at all... and I accidently rang it there but the number wasn't accessible.

Patient B:
Hmmmmm the thick plottens. I got a happy xmas message from whoever owns that number but as you may have long surmised I have no idea who it is.

Patient A:
What you should do is wait until very early in the morning... and then ring them from a pay phone. Ask for Geraldine. And when they say you have the wrong number, ask them who it is?
Flawless.

Patient B:
Thats a very fucking good idea. By very early, do you mean 3 or 4 in the morning or 6 or 7 in the morning?

Patient A:
I was thinking 3 or 4... but 6 or 7 might work better. Up to you.

Patient B:
Lets compromise and go for 5.

Patient A:
Grand, you do that. E-mail me the results in spreadsheet form with graphs and charts and tea and biscuits...
Meanwhile I'm off. There is a movie on BBC I want to catch. It's been on for half an hour but fuck it anyway.

Patient B:
You do that booooooooooooy, Im watching Rome.

9 comments:

  1. Its a translation from a Polish Concentration Camp... you know, into english.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yeah, from the Polish. You know, Polish?

    ReplyDelete
  3. I do not know polish.

    Although I do look polish (i.e, a bit like a pole)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Like a bean pole, I bet. You know, like Kiera Knightly.
    Do you look like Ms. Knightly?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hey, vote for this blog on:
    http://2006.bloggies.com/
    It's more of a experiment than an actual attempt to win as there is a special category for british and Irish blogs... the brits will win out, but I don't know any good Irish blogs (not that I've checked or anything)....
    Fucking, go ahead and vote there, people who read this. I know there are some who don't comment...

    Hey Ian and Daly, would you mind and official post on this?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Sure, yeah. For whatever it'll come to.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Festi's blog is quite good. He is irish. Come to my blog and click on 'Festi's cooking pot' in the links.

    Beanpole yes. Knightley no.

    I would never leave the house otherwise.

    ReplyDelete
  8. UTMG ain't wrong... Festi's quite a good read, though I'm going to push that ours is better... only if quantity is factored in and the fact that we have three people contributing (technically) and he only has one... yep... might wins out and if anyone doesn't agree, we're going to muscle you out of town.

    ReplyDelete