Monday, January 16, 2006


There was another show on TV this evening about dieting, and dietary fads. If you go into any newsagent you'll see shelf after shelf of women's magazines all touting the latest garaunteed diet. "I lost 14 stone in six months" is the proclamation of a still-elephantine harpy plastered across the front cover in large yellow letters. And for as far as I can remember, this has always been the case.

To be honest, this is all a little puzzling to me. Women (and men) put themselves through ridiculous regimes, like eating cabbage soup every day, or not eating carbs at all in order to lose weight. They buy books and magazines, collectively spending a fortune on recycled, repetitive (mis)information. The develop psycholgical diseases and conditions through sheer obsessivness over their weight.

Why do they do this? I don't fucking know. But I think they still, somehow, believe is that weight-loss is some sort of closely guarded secret, kept under wraps by the Illuminati, or the Majestic Twelve, or the Freemasons or skinny people in general.

Secrets and fads aside, there is a garaunteed, time honoured and experience proven way to shed the pounds (or to put them on, as is a nobler aim). It's simply to eat less shit and do a bit of excercise.

The thing is, they all know it, but none want to hear it. They'd much rather eat as much sugar as they can crush into their faces, make pathetic excuses for themselves and wait and hope for a miracle cure, all the while sinking ever into self-loathing at their disgusting adiposity.


  1. Man, fads are like the holy grail for marketers... or should that be advertisers. They love that shit like gravy loves beef.

  2. Yeah, agreed. This particular one drives me fucking mental though. At this stage if people don't know the facts it's because they just don't want to know. Fuckers.

  3. Yep - lay off the cakes and beer before bed and bob's yer builder.

    My diet at the moment is no beer on week days and no fucking fatty meals before sleeping.

    Fill the car with petrol, turn it off and the stuff is still there, is it not?

  4. There is nothing worse then listening to someone say that they are thinking about going on a diet while they cram more food then an Ethiopian family will see in a lifetime into their face. In my opinion if you want to eat then eat but dont go crying if you put on a few pounds.

  5. Was it the fucking Paul McKenna yoke you were watching?

  6. Nah, unless the Paul McKenna thing is Scope. Cos I don't know what the Paul McKenna thing is.