Friday, January 06, 2006

I wish Queen Latifah had never been born

For this post I had originally planned a verbal assult on both the well known actress Queen Latifah, and Hollywood. Gleefully I threw 'Dalyisms' around in my head. Combining them like Lego bricks, skillfully ordering and re-ordering them to create a blog entry comprised of a slalom of insults culminating in an enormous literary ski-jump... off a cliff.

But the more I thought about it, the more I realised that I was out of line. What right have I to expect anything of Hollywood. Hollywood simply doesn't deliver the goods. A first class film is an anomaly, not a standard. The majority of what Hollywood produces is absolute trash.

Why shouldn't they honour it?

16 comments:

  1. God, First Rob writes a post about wrighting a post and now
    Daly writes a post about the post he was about to wright.
    You do have the right to unload on hollywood. Yes it is producing shit by the bucketfull and nothing you say will change that but the least you can do is tell it as it is. Even if all you acheve is that one person who stumbles over the post decides not to go to the next over budget, no script, crapper then you have acheved something.
    Not me though I love hollywood!

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  2. Nah man, it's not going to happen. People are going to continue going to shit movies. Hollywood is going to continue making them.

    I dunno. I feel like topping myself at this stage.

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  3. Ah a martyr for the cause. I like it we could put 'Here lies Daly. The man who loved Tony Jaa' on your tombstone. Im sure your family would understand.
    Also I am making a film of the funeral and selling it to hollywood!

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  4. I'm going to provide the budget for Daly's funeral. How does $300 million sound?

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  5. It sounds like a lot of money you dont have. But luckily I take dodgie IOU's.

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  6. Cool. I have 300 million dodgie 1 dollar IOU's.

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  7. I'll agree to this only if the role of my corpse is played by Tony Jaa.

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  8. I am sorry Hollywood has already given the role of your corpse to Queen Latifah.

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  9. It's off. I'm pulling out of my death. And the movie.

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  10. Well thats just great, what is Queen Latifah going to do for her next movie? Oh wait I hear the part of Conan is still open for the remake of Conan the Barbarian.

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  11. No way.

    If Latifah is even in the movie I will travel to America and audition for a role. Now realistically, due to the amount of fat i'm carrying i'll never make Conan, but I could get the role of some random soldier he slaughters.

    Here's the cunning part though: I'll use my prop sword to destroy Latifah while no one's looking.

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  12. Man, Cute Overload has been mega recently... witness the Kutest Kitten in the world... jesus, I ache all over.

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  13. Not by a long shot.

    I wouldn't go to see the movie of Daly's death. Unless the soundtrack featured U2. Can you get those bobble heads in on the show? What would a movie be without a U2 song or five to punctuate the insult to our intelligence for eternity or until the film stock wears out? Legitimate question, actually.

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