“Two hard pushes now.”
There is a slight pause and a nurse announces jubilantly the sex of the baby.
“Congratulations Mrs. Meehan, it’s a beautiful baby girl. Ten fingers and ten toes... and eugh!”
The attendees’ shuffle around the nurse and the baby in her arms, who cries toothlessly while cloaked in a fresh, blue blanket tagged ‘hospital’.
“Hmmm, it looks like…”
“… A button.”
“But… too small to be a button…”
“… Well, she’s not… erm…”
“Easy to miss though, lets not forget.”
“… The mother…”
“Perhaps we could give her a pump or something… you know… for when it’s older…”
“Shhh, quick. Give it here.”
The baby is moved between possessions until finally resting in the arms of the most senior paediatrician.
“Sorry Mrs. Meehan for the delay with your child, but we misdiagnosed the sex. It’s a boy. Here!”
I’m shoved into my doting mothers arms.
“Oh,” she intones, “You are a heavy one, aren’t you. Aren’t you?”
I can’t answer her with anything other than a wail.