Thursday, February 05, 2009

No. 4

RULES: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

(To do this, go to “notes” under tabs (+) on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)

I don't want children.

During a brief period of heavy thinking, lasting no longer than a week, I came to regard my brain as the container of my whole conscious being and my body as transport and set of sensors with which the brain can experience the world from it's own enclosed environment. I met my limitations as a human in an ice-cream parlour. We amicably decided the relationship would never get off the ground so we separated at the door. Finally, in this week, I decided I didn't want children. Not for my life.

My rationale for the decision remains simple. I could not think of a single unselfish reason why to have a child; not one benefit for him or her. What good would another life be in seven billion? What am I denying a potential son or daughter by not fertilising an egg? I don't believe life itself to be such a prize. At least I expect, were I never born, I would not long to live. So why have a child if not for my own security in old age, or as an achievement or for fulfilment? Having children, it seems to me, is a selfish act and thus one I won't participate in.

My position on children, as an aside, collided with another fresh opinion on the limitations of being human. I tell myself often enough for it to be routine I can be what I want and can will into being whatever I dare think. I remember, when first realising the faulty logic behind this sentiment, stopping mid-trot. If I wanted to climb Everest, as unlikely as that would be, I could attempt to do so. I could attempt space travel, or to master foreign languages. I have an unmade future. But, as I was deciding to never have children, I raged at my inability to carry one to birth.

Though I felt strongly about this at the time, it is but a thought now safe at the back of my mind. I was just stricken by how we are limited at birth to a gender, eye colour and so on, then we choose to limit ourselves additionally as we continue our lives. I was chafed with one limitation forced upon me and, at the same time, limited myself further by choice. I don't want children, I would rather a robot, but wouldn't it be something to experience?

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