Monday, July 25, 2005

Inspiration

Alphonsus
Ass... Biscuit.

Rufus
Hamster... Jam

Alphonsus
Hmmm.

Cowboy.

Rufus
Punjabi

Alphonsus
*deep inhalation*

Asthmatic Kitty

Rufus
*deep inhalation* real *deep inhalation* funny *deep inhalation*

Alphonsus
Hmmm Rufus, I think we have stumbled upon something grand. A new way of communicating.

Rufus
Indeed Alphonsus, our laborious efforts have finally borne fruit, old boy.

Alphonsus
Oh, Rufus, inspiration just struck. We should get over to old Logie Baird's place and see can he combine his picture box with our devishly good idea.
Things are looking up, dear chap.

Rufus
Logie Baird? Good thinking man! He's picture really is an ingenious contraption. Dare I say it? We may be on the verge of a talking picture box.

Alphonsus
WOOT!

Oh, excuse me dearly. I overcame myself with excitement. Warm up the motor Rufus. We must make haste to Bairds house. That old todger will be delighted to see us.

Rufus
Indeed, I do hope he has kept the kettle on a rolling boil. I am quite in need of some Darjeeling. The motor is running, we should be able to get under way in an hour.

Alphonsus
In a hour. Good, that gives me enough time to prepare my evening attire. Old Baird enjoys well-dressed men, you know. He would be sorely disappointed and maybe even insulted were you to turn up in that casual suit you don.

Rufus
Yes, yes, good point. I shall don my dinner wear so as not to insult, that Baird is an odd one alright. Always chasing he young stable boys and lad assistants around so as they get their exercise and insisting they wear short-pants so as to prevent chaffing. Jolly good chap really.

Alphonsus
Yes, I couldn't agree more. A jolly good chap. Absolutely.
And now that trivial matter is out of the way, we must patent our idea before some yahoo runs away with it...
Young Einstein sown at the patent office will take care of that sharply.

Rufus
Good idea old boy, I had forgotten about young Einstein. Incredible hair, woeful brain though. It took him three attempts to finish school. It's a shame knowing such a character will not amount to much. He does prepare remarkably good patents though.

Alphonsus
Yes, it's a terrible shame about his mind, but the world gained a smashing patent officer.
Say, maybe we could hire him as an apprentice. Get him out of that stuffy office. Do him the world of good.

Rufus
Yes perhaps but between being distracted by his hair, his bizarre accent and his insistence on devouring that pipe I haven’t the foggiest idea what he is talking about most of the time.

Alphonsus
Too true Rufus... my mind mustn’t be with it today, with the entire chi we've had. But we must patent the idea. Is the auto heated yet? We must get moving as the birds are flying south and time is against us.

Rufus
Yes the auto has reached critical temperature, we are set to go but may need to catch the 6.15 autogyro from Whitlock if we are to catch Logie before he embarks on his monthly snipe hunt.

Alphonsus
By George, lets get moving. Time is of the essence and Baird has been known to get seriously injured during his hunts.

Rufus
It still baffles on he fell on the barrel of his shotgun

Alphonsus
Or how it fell into him, to be more exact.

Rufus
Quite right old boy. Well no harm done anyway, it didn’t go off and the stable hand with him as able to pry it out using a plentiful supply of lard.

Alphonsus
Too true, dear chap.
Alas, look at the sundial. We must converse more in the auto. It is nearing eleven.

Rufus
Eleven? Clakety clack, lets be gone. Elevenses can wait. Though, we may need partake of a larger luncheon on the Giro.

Alphonsus
Spiffing Suggestion. But Rufus, you drive as my prostate is acting up, old boy.

14 comments:

  1. I didn't know you and Ian were Blacks from the NY ghe'o. I always assumed you were those white Irish guys. How you fooled me. You fooled us all!

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  2. Well, you know what I'm sayin', chicks hate on white asscrackers. Hate on us bad... I mean hate on them bad.

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  3. Asscrackers? you stole that from Sabi! she'll kill you. Or maybe not.
    So what Ian and you want is sum bitches, is that it? I see....

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  4. Asscrackers is a good word... Me likey lottie.

    Yeah, bitches are the new hoes.

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  5. I'll waste every motherfucker up in here. Whitey been keeping us down too long! fo'sho. I gots me ten bitches and 7 hoes, they all know where its at, its right fucking here G.

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  6. Yeah. Right on brutha, crackly ass motha fuckas.

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  7. Okay, the posts are all individually here... just the front page thats gone...

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  8. The more I stay away, the more I want to return... And when I finally do, I am greeted by this.

    To say that your rest has been a catastrophic diversion for procrastinators the world over would be to inject the dubyah dubyah dubyah with a paragraph of supererogatory jargon.

    Lad, you crack me up.

    There, I've shown you my cards.

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  9. This is totalt a product of Ian and myself... not just myself... equally belongs to Ian.

    So props to Ian.

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  10. Love your work, Robert!





    ;)




    BTW, regards to Ian.

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