Wednesday, December 03, 2008

I'm Allowed To Post This; I Wrote It

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- The Main Act

"He really is the best in show. Just a magnificent hobo. Really."
"Truly?"
"Absolutely."
"He can totally carry a tune like a bird carries bits. Away and away."
"Can he suck the life from a car, or wrap old food convincingly in store-aways?"
"The winner can always do these things. Admittance into this competition is contingent on these talents. And more, didn't you know. It is for certain specialities or attributes that the winner is chosen. Drinking whiskey won't raise applause, let me tell you. No matter the amount. This isn't a hobo du jour type of event. We expect timelessness."
"Like what? What other…"
"Other talents…?"
"Yes. In addition to what you just mentioned."
"Well, a potential winner, or even just entrant, must know all the rail lines from east to west coasts. He must be able to tell the time of day from naturally occurring phenomena, like the sunrise, bird song or the bins outside a McDonalds restaurant. He must smell like a skip but look like a postcard. That sort of thing."
"That's interesting. I mean… my attention has been held."
"Hobos are interesting. More so than normal humans but not as much as mystical beings. Hobos are journeymen and the keepers of people's stories. They would tell you the other guys life but never their own. 'I once knew a fella' who picked splinters from the toes of black chillers'. Was arrested after one child went missing.' And so on, like that."
"You must have heard it all."
"Nothing surprises me anymore. Not even the sordid details of dead actresses. Alive ones neither, for that matter."
"I can only wonder. I mean my life is empty, just a shell slowly filling with envy."
"Envy… of me?"
"Yes. And the life you've chosen."
"I have no penis. Why be envious of me?"
"You shouldn't have a penis… you're a…"
"A woman. I know."
"…"
"Women hobos are automatically disqualified from this competition. Did you know that?"
"I noticed there were none around. Why?"
"Women travelling as hobos can't get work. Nobody'd hire them. So, they're not really hobos, even for the effort. More like tramps."
"No work at all? That's hard to believe."
"Really! If someone needed a field hoed, why hire a woman? If they needed a fuck, why get a filthy hobo?"
"For the experience?"
"Perhaps. Would you?"
"No. Absolutely not."
"My point exactly."



- Unrelated Notes: Or Somethings to Remember: Or Not Than I Am, But I Hear It

"He described Hemingway pacing up and down in his den, saying: 'There is another dimension. I am fully aware of it, but I can't get to it. So he was trapped in his reporting of externals, his faithfulness to the surface, to words actually said." — Literary hearsay, James Boyd quoting Ernest Hemingway, as written by Anais Nin

"I can't be confined to an earthly plane even though I was, like, born here and everything." — Albert Ayler

"You can write anytime people will leave you alone and not interrupt you. Or rather you can if you will be ruthless enough about it. But the best writing is certainly when you are in love." -
Hemingway
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