Thursday, April 28, 2005

The Natural World Case Studies: Bondole

The mysterious Bondole (genus: Usluss Kokead) is a small marsupial, a relation of the rat family. It is an insignificant creature known for its distinctive calls, which sound similar to a person mumbling. It can often be found sitting in its natural habitat – rubbish dumps - doing nothing. If approached by another creature it becomes vicious and unfriendly, often avoiding confrontation through sheer inapproachability. If confronted it exaggerates its violent demeanour and make loud mumbling noises. If its assailant persists it quickly rolls over and offers little or no resistance to its attacker.

The unassuming Bondole is a mammal of little daily variation. When it requires company it can be seen associating itself with a similar mammal known as Docus (genus: Nolean Saabus). While this creature is of greater note due to its antics it remains outside the scope of this study.

What is interesting about Bondole though, is the strange behaviour it exhibits when it comes in contact with Kadalra (genus: Elragei Legendus). The Kadalra is a mythical creature of immense stature, but of which relatively little is known. It is believed that most modern legends regarding mythical beasts stem at least somewhat from this creature. When these creatures meet, Boldole displays all outward signs of having seen an aggressor – it becomes viscious and unfriendly. However the acute observer will note that it gradually begins to mimic the Kadalra in every action. Initially the mimicry is limited to copying oft-used noises and calls. Later this copy-cat routine takes a more insidious turn – the Bondole starts to mimic actions and stances. When Kadalra is not present it attempts to replicate the effect on the environment that Kadalra would have caused. Throughout this Kadalra remains uninterested by these actions, as it does not regard the lesser Bondole as any kind of threat.

Finally the transformation is complete. As other creatures begin to note the change in Bondole it claims vehemently that it is Kadalra that is the impostor. Unfortunately for Bondole, as the saying goes, one cannot make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear. Bondoles' impression of the legendary creature Kadalra is poor at best and only serves to highlight Bondoles own inadequacies.

The learned scientist and philosopher Daly had this to say:
“Bondole is a waste of a species – one would hope that sometime in the future Mother Nature will see the error of her ways and ‘naturally select’ Bondole out of existence”

13 comments:

  1. Apologies again for this one Ian

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  2. I want to read more about the Docus creature as I find it's genus name (Nolean Saabus)quite catchy.

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  3. No need to apologise Daly, this was good. Very witty and clever. This bondole sounds truly disgusting, almost Gollum like.

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  4. I was planning on posting another "Better than Daly" list, but it jusr doesnt feel appropriate anymore.

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  5. Green eyed monster10:24 pm, April 28, 2005

    Man, I'm jealous.

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  6. Docus! Docus! Docus!

    I bet this is the coolest animal ever. With a name like Saabus it's got to be alright.

    also what does the Kadalra look like? Is it like a dragon?

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  7. Ok, to clear a few things up:

    Yes the bondole is a disgusting creature, and while it is a relation of the rat family Gollum-like is an excellent approxomation. I should have mentioned something like that in the study.

    Docus is a legendary creature, unfortunately it's for all the wrong reasons. I'll see what I can dig up on it. It's often seen playing with Bertle (genus: Redine Festus). I'm sure if I cross reference a few searches I'll find something.

    Of Kadalra very little is known. It could well be Dragon-esque. What is known is that it is a generally peaceful animal that is prone to becoming excited when good things happen and enraged when bad things happen. It is a muscular and powerful beast but displays a sense of overbearing self-worth or self-importance. (Please not that it's 'overbearing', not 'unjustified')

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  8. Existence. Obviously you are not better than a dictionary.

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  9. I've edited that out of xistenz.

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  10. I am up late as well. Finshing A Case for Daly Chapter 2. Or whatever it's called. I will post it late tonight when it is done. Oh yeah.

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  11. I would like to point out that the comments on the post above this one has reached 69. NO one touch the comments!!!!

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  12. now you've done it

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  13. Oh you didn't like that shit?

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