Wednesday, April 13, 2005

A Stupid Story about a Short Man

One day, a bog-brained man adventured into the deep dark forest, deeper than any alert man had ever dared. His mother always warned- "Don't ever go into those woods you filthy shite as wild animals will eat your soul". But this man was a severe retard, so he didn't understand. Hobbling along and breathing heavily from exertion, our imbecile hero stumbled onto a bear picnic. "Ohhhhhhh", exclaimed our witless dumdum, "Me likey Pricnics!!". The bears growled and slobbered lazily at the bumbling moron, certain this mess of a human wouldn't venture towards them and become tonight's dessert. But they were proven wrong as he crawled on his hands and knees (to fool the bears, you see) over to the carcass of a raccoon and buried his face in the open mid-section. The bears did not take kindly to this incursion and stood up roaring and swinging paws, generally being menacing. Our man on the scene, became very worried but acted quickly. Remembering an old fable his mother read him as a child (and an adult as he was a dingbat), he played dead. The bears, surprisingly not as addled as our unfortunate protagonist, beat him around the place until he was dead from it.
Fin.

13 comments:

  1. I rate this as utterly hilarious, It qualifies for LMFAO status. Congratulations Rob.

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  2. We had our wicked way with him then

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  3. Did this happen to one of your friends?

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  4. Yes, the raccoon was my best friend. THOSE BASTARDS..... ATE..... HIM. WAHHHHHHH!

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  5. This is fabulous!

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  6. I was personally insulted by the phrases:
    bog brained, filthy shite, retard, witless dumdum and bumbling moron.
    And was mearly confused by the phrases:
    Incursion, dingbat, protagonist, beat him and Fin.
    Other than that it was a very good story!!!!!!!

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  7. What the hey?
    'Fin' is French for the end.
    Glad I could help.

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  8. You would have to be a bog brained, witless dumdum not to understand: Incursion, dingbat, protagonist, beat him and Fin.

    Also you'd have to be a filty shite to be insulted by: bog brained, filthy shite, retard, witless dumdum and bumbling moron.

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  9. No, thanks go out to you, everyone. Round of applause. Clap yourself on the back. You deserve it. Yes. YEA... FUCK. YES. Fuck. WE WON. YEAAAAHHHHH! Go team. Kelly, I appriciate the seven exclamation marks. So, this is for you. !!!!!!!!!!. That's ten, buddy.
    Jessie. This is not fin. There's more. YES. I'M SO EXCITED? No.. wait. That wasn't supposed to be a question. I'M SO EXCITED! YEAH. FFFFFFFFFFuuuuccckk.

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  10. I was personally insulted by the use of the phrase:
    You would.
    And was mearly confused by the phrase:
    be a.
    Also I thaught a 'Fin' is something a fish uses?

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  11. You may be right. Rob doesn't speak french so it would be natural to assume he meant it as a bit of a fish.

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  12. Several young virgins have dressed for dinner and sit down to lick a sugar coated corpse.
    M

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