Satan sat by lightning framed, opposite God by angels held, separated by powers divine. ‘Abandon ye all hope that enter here’ a sign says, attached to door.
"Well, what's it going to be, then, Oh Lord? Twelve or fourteen or perhaps ten."
The almighty took a look, that was long, at the hooded creature opposite and yelped, "Perhaps thee be full of jest this morn, but I swear to thee I am not in similar content. Press these numbers more and I shall act righteously upon thee without guilt nor second utterance."
Satan was unmoved by this holy outburst as Satan was a cunt and being unmoved was his preoccupation.
"Oh Lord, thou must think I be jesting thine link but… and thou shall forgive me for tongueing this, thou be full of smelly, brown stuffs."
The Lord shot a holy blue bolt across the divide that browned Satan’s bum cheek. Satan was sullied and furious.
"Shalst thou imagine repeating such indecent acts,” screamed Satan with brimstone fire bellowing from his nostrils, “my arm shall be put to violent use. Thou understandest my intentions?"
The Lord did nod and let loose a smirk that was as loud as a healthy laugh.
“What did thou thinkest, coming to me with plan of evil as this. Did thou thinkst I would just guffaw and yelp ‘Sure, go on and rule over my dominion?’ Fool. Thou shalst burn perpetually in the pit, snarling and spitting but doing no harm.”
Satan moves towards God with vicious intent.
“Increase thou distance twix us or shall I evaporate thou on the spot?”
Satan clawed the air and rolled his eyes and twisted his tongue. God held a lightening bolt ready to hurl should the situation turn dire.
“Thou shalst regret ignoring me this time, Oh Lord. Thou shall pay with thine life.”
Satan leapt through the outer wall of the building and corkscrewed through the earth back into Hell.
God stuck his head out the hole and cursed the red demon with all his might.
“Fuck thou Satan. Should thou remove thine hide from the layer which thou dwell, I shall lop thine skull off and fuck the sockets.”
And God too did jump through the wall and fly up towards the golden gates, furious yet wise beyond comprehension.