Thursday, August 18, 2005

Celtic Tiger

I enter the corner shop for lunch. I decide on a bottle of coke and a sandwich.
The Indian behind the counter says:
“That will be €5.75 sir.”

“Sorry!” I reply, surprised at the cost.

“Well,” begins the Indian, happy to inform me, “The coke is €1.25…”

“WHAT! It says 75 cent on the bottle.”

“I know sir, but I really love this coke.” He cradles the bottle in his arms like a baby, “I couldn’t see it go for less than €1.25.”

“Well…” I think for a second. “If you really love it…. Then ok. But €4.50 for a sandwich! You got to be kidding me. It’s a plain tomato and lettuce sandwich.”

“Yes sir, I know. But, you see, you are very lucky to be buying the sandwich now. In an hour, we change over to late prices and the sandwich will cost €6.99.”

“But in an hour…” I check my watch… “It will only be half two.”

“Yes sir, here it will be half two. But in India, it will be late. You are not a, how do you say, racist sir, are you?”

“No, I am not.” I force out and, reluctantly, hand him a ten-euro note.
“I’m never going to shop here again, you know.”

“Yes you will, sir. And here is the wrong change.”

“… What?”

“I’m sorry sir, but I am new to this country and am yet to learn your currency. You are just going to have to accept it.”
He hands me a twenty-cent coin.

“… Fine but I don’t have to like it.”
And I leave.


  1. You should have turned the racist card back on him like a biaiatche-ah. He's in Ireland now, does he not respect our customs?

    Well obviously he does Daly, he overcharged the fuck out of R to the O to the B-E-R-T.

    Ahh, he IS a smart one.

    Not as smart as you though.


  2. Eh?
    If that supposed to be a convo between me and you? Or am I a retard?

  3. Well since you provided only two options i'd have to say: retard.

    It was a conversation between me and me... in my head... as it happened.

  4. how wierd... your names are getting cooler... For a very long second there, one that lasted three seconds, I thought you were a new person.

  5. I aim to displease, severely.

  6. Cool, write something that severely displeases a bunch of people... like gays or blacks.
    And if it is good enough, we might be flagged.

  7. Flagged? What's that? Someting extremely cool no doubt, but hit me with some knowledge please.

  8. What is all that spam? and why your blog, all the time?

  9. Fucking bastards are gone now...
    But Daly... if you look at the bar that runs along the top of the blog, there is a new button to the right... it says 'Flag?'. If shit is posted here that offends and... whatever, disturbs... then people can flag the blog and it will, in effect, become black-listed.

    Cool, no?

  10. Oh, M over at the Excrement Sect posted something as well.

  11. So wait, all I have to do is keep clicking on the flag and you get black listed?
    Sir I am personally offended by your use of the word cool and am flaging you!

  12. I'll flag you Kelly. A pre-emptive flag that will leave you spinning like a dreidle..

  13. So what prizes does becoming blacklisted get you?

  14. The details on in the button. Don't press it, just put the curser over it and an option will appear that'll tell you what you want to know.

  15. It said the "document requested was not found"

    I guess that about wraps it up.