Thursday, November 03, 2005

Stumble

There is a rumour floating amongst those in the know, that everyone has a double. Someone who looks, thinks, talks, fucks and swears the same as you. An exact double fishing in Australia, or drinking in Finland. An exact double dying in Nairobi, or perhaps being born in Canada. Your exact double need not be your exact age, despite my liberal use of the word ‘exact’. Your mirror may be ten years older than you, or ten younger. He or she may not exist for thousands of years. Or maybe when your friend taps you on the shoulder and swears that they saw you today, perhaps that was your double.
But what if you don’t have an exact body double, but instead an action double. A life double. A deed double. Another person who may not even be the same sex as you, but who may be performing the same amusing mime as you right now, or perhaps someone who is writing these same exact words right now, or perhaps someone, at this very moment, who is reading these words, just as you are. Would that not be fantastic?
And this is what Denis is thinking in the elevator, as he strips himself of his clothes. What if there was someone else, a girl even, who had also lost a tumultuous game of Jenga and thus the bet? What if they too had to run naked around campus, their own campus, like he has to right now? And what if, the mind-joke continues, that person also had just noticed the security camera in the elevator, their pants rolled around their ankles, their arms caught in jumper sleeves, eyes wide with shock? Would that not be fantastic too?
Ah, screw it. Just run.

23 comments:

  1. I totally agree with this idea. Ever since the day Dan saw me in town... only I wasn't there..... ooooohhhh.

    And also around the same time, a girl followed me into the toilets at the High Stool and asked me, while I was whizzing mind, if I was Karl Daly? I of course said yes.

    Turned out I was the other Karl Daly, not the one she was looking for.... oooooohhhhh.

    If i meet the bastard i'll buy him a drink. We'll be best friends and fly to a new planet where we will rule. Occasional raids upon science bases on earth will yield enough blank genetic material for us to set up our own race of Daly's.

    Nobility.

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  2. There is a dude in college, who looks exactly like you Daly... wears a leather jacket... same beard thing you have... same hair style... smaller than you, less bulked... but I saw him wearing a video-game t-shirt... can't remember the game but I remember it was a video game.... same shaped face.... fucking freaky...

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  3. Any chance you could ask him his name next time you see him? Maybe tell him to put on some weight. Ask him if he rallies bikes.

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  4. Ask him his fucking name. Or take an incidental camera phone pic while he "just happens" to be passing.

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  5. Well... what happened there.... oh my...

    Anyway, I'll fucking steal his soul next time the situation enables... with Ian's fantastic picture phone....

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  6. What's the story with the spanish names dudes?

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  7. Well Senor Daly... with the season that's in it, we felt that spanish names would be appropriate... and actually we are surprised you don't... shocked even.

    look at this word verification... fpwppyle... fuck sake, now I have to type it again.

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  8. What season? Autumn?

    What has that got to do with spain?

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  9. It has everything to do with Spain Senor Daly, do you even watch the news?

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  10. Just answer the fucking question asswipe. Yeah I watch the news. Frenchmen killing each other tickles me pink.

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  11. Oh my josh! Some people are so retarded. Just shut up you fat mess, go eat some ham. It's not like you know illegal ninja moves from the government. You're not even a ninja. At least I have bowstaff skills, nunchaku skills, hunting skills and my pocket is full of tots. Sweet.

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  12. Playing with your pecker all day doesn't qualify as bowstaff skills you stupid fucker. And if your nunchaku skills are anything like your ability to answer a question then I guess Michaelangelo is safe. Phewwww, the turtles had a close one there. Last thing they need is retarded ol' Ian on the team getting killed every week.

    I'll skip the ham fucktard... I just filled up on chicken. Noble.

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  13. You fucking idiot! Michaelangelo is a party dude. Safe? What the fuck is that? And whats ham fucktard? Is that like some super-dooper Daly recipe that no one else has heard of because it's shite?

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  14. Ian, since this is the internet, and not real life it's ok to pause a little before you speak... just so you won't look like a moron. Have a good edit of that last comment for yourself. Like a good boy.

    Cheers Rob, if you shoot me an email for stuff like this I'll throw together some sort of thematically correct banner.

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  15. Was that an attempt at an intellectual burn? It failed. I like the way you always try to undermine my intelligence, constantly striving to get one up on me by flexing what little grey matter rattles around in your cavernous skull and using flowery language that makes it appear you are talking down to a mere peasant. It is really quite a noble form of mockery, if not wholly ineffectual. But alas "ineffectual" is a term many of "The Rages" female companions have bandied around far too often. "The Rage" over compensation indeed.

    I am in awe of your bo staff skills.

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  16. Oh Ian, your inferiority complex makes a ridiculous mockery of you at every hands turn. No, it wasn't an attempt at an intellectual burn. I was just offering you the chance not to look like an idiot. Something you won't offer yourself.

    But not to worry. It hasn't happened.

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  17. Yeah Daly, put a sombrero on that bitch....

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  18. Well with a bo as developed as yours what man couldn't help but feel inferior.

    Now, I must take my leave and curl up in my girlfriends bosom to bemoan my glaring inferiority complex. Sigh.

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  19. Ha ha!

    Yes, it's best to just run and consider these thing on the move

    "Is there a security guard running naked through a parking lot, just like I am, except he is being chased by naked students, instead of a non-law enforcement legal enforcer like I am?"

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