Thursday, January 05, 2006

My First Post Modern Post

“Are you ready? We’re going.”
“Wait a minute, Lennon & McCartney threw up a new post.”
“Right, right, right. So, who wrote it?”
“Meehan.”
“Oh, coolio. I love his shit. Like that one he wrote about Tom Cruise. Sooo funny. If a bit long… Well, what’s it called?”
“It’s called, um, ‘the end of the internet’.”
“Oh, he’s depressed again, is he? I hate those fucking posts. Bah and goddamn, I wish he’d stick to being crazy and disgusting. Those fuckin’ rock my tits.”
“Hold on a sec bitch. He’s being stupid and funny… And disgusting. Look at this… here…”
“OH MY GOD! Equine lesbian porn. That’s crazy.”
“Yeah, so fucking crazy.”
“So crazy.”
“Yeah.”
“Man, I wonder if he’s hot or just another nerd. You know, like a fat and sticky bun oven.”
“Oh, I dunno. I like to imagine him being kinda cute in a chubby way. Like a young John Goodman.”
“Or John Candy…”
“Shut up. Oh, you’re so bad. No, I mean I bet he’s very nice. Like he knows how to hold a woman just right. Wouldn’t treat us bad, you know. And his words! Oh, I bet he could turn me with a whisper.”

“You’re so gay.”
“Slag.”
“He probably likes to beat on his women, to make up for his small penis and foot fetish.”
“Aw, God damn... Come on, lets’ just go.”
“Hey, wait a minute. I don’t see your goods missy. You know what I told you about letting those puppies loose. I mean, do you want to come home empty handed again tonight, do you? I swear, you will be a virgin forever.”
“Fuck you. I’ll do what I want.”
“Aw crap, the taxi’s been waiting outside.”
“Shit. Come on. And don’t forget your phone this time.”

Exit Stage Left

13 comments:

  1. How accurate do you think that is?

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  2. What? The post or the John Goodman?

    What I find funny, if that's what you're getting at, is that that's how you choose someone to visualise you.

    Or John Candy... OMGWTFLOL!!!!1!11!1one!111

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  3. Bitch Latifah is getting a star on the Hollywood walk of fame.

    Expect one motherfucker of a post on this over the next few days.

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  4. Yeah, I meant the John Goodman thing... but still... you're right, though...
    This post is about how I think other people see me, when they read my posts...
    I'm shaking hands with the monkey, so to speak.
    Or spoiling the witness... in other words.


    For more hilarity, go here:
    http://walkingdead.net/perl/euphemism

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  5. OMG, Latifah is getting a star... that makes me want to go out and wrestle a rubber dolphin, if you catch my drift.

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  6. Hilarity my ass. That's more like a "Carry On Insinuating"

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  7. To be honest, it's not easy to visualise people from how they write. The mind doesn't inhibit itself with appearances.

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  8. The only star Latifah is worthy of is starbucks. At $4 an hour. Making my coffee.

    "Decaff latte. And no jokes please."

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  9. It's funny that you think if the brain had it image, it would be held back.
    I think it could have an image. A kind of amorphous blob that doesn't hold any particularly recognisable shape for too long. But shifts between identities.

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  10. That's the image you have of your mind? A blob?

    Comedy.

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  11. I cannt believe Rob is getting away with wrighting a post about wrighting a post. Where is the real post Rob? You cannot just post anything. A post like this ...... Post, Post, Post.

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