"Honey, I'm home." (audience applause/laughter)
"It's about time. I've been waiting for hours." (more enthusiastic laughter)
"Oh shut your pie hole. The interstate was backed up." (outrageous audience laughter)
"Well I wish you hadn't, look you've reversed into the neighbours car." (dangerous amounts of laughter)
"Oh darn. I best go over there and apologise." (people choking to death with laughter)
*Ding Dong* (audience laughter)
"Hello Mr. Of-Twenty. Look, I had..."
"Please, call me Twelve."
"Oh, sure. Well Twelve-Of-Twenty, I had a little bit of a problem this evening. I seem to have tipped your car's fender with mine. I'm suing you. Do you have insurance?"
"No. Do you?"
"Yes, but since you'll be paying for my neck injury it's you who needs insuran... HEY. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
"Resistance is futile."
"What THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?"
"You are being assimilated."
"The Borg need your insurance."
"FUCK. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I'VE SURE GOT MY COME-UPPANCE NOW."