Thursday, August 10, 2006

Neighborgs

"Honey, I'm home." (audience applause/laughter)
"It's about time. I've been waiting for hours." (more enthusiastic laughter)
"Oh shut your pie hole. The interstate was backed up." (outrageous audience laughter)
"Well I wish you hadn't, look you've reversed into the neighbours car." (dangerous amounts of laughter)
"Oh darn. I best go over there and apologise." (people choking to death with laughter)

*Ding Dong* (audience laughter)

"Hello Mr. Of-Twenty. Look, I had..."
"Please, call me Twelve."
"Oh, sure. Well Twelve-Of-Twenty, I had a little bit of a problem this evening. I seem to have tipped your car's fender with mine. I'm suing you. Do you have insurance?"
"No. Do you?"
"Yes, but since you'll be paying for my neck injury it's you who needs insuran... HEY. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
"Resistance is futile."
"What THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?"
"You are being assimilated."
"WHAT? WHY?"
"The Borg need your insurance."
"FUCK. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I'VE SURE GOT MY COME-UPPANCE NOW."

~FIN~

4 comments:

  1. I would commission this if only I worked for the BBC.

    Sendit to their comedy department.

    They might give you a job.

    Then you can blow the budget on Space Hoppers and Marshmallows

    Or Crack.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Neill Blomkamp. He who shall direct Halo, the motion picture.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Disaster. I've heard they're changing his suit too. Mega.

    @UMTG They've already signed Neighborgs for a six show run. I'm quite excited. I haven't yet asked the oweners of Star Trek for permission to use the Borg in a sit-com but I'm sure they'll probably be fine with it.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Unless they try and assimilate yu an absorb the idea in to their colelctive consciousness.

    ReplyDelete