On January 8th 1935 the great personage that is Elvis Presley was brought into this world. Some say this was a watershed event for all of humanity as Elvis influened so much of what is today considered pop culture. Others say it was shit. Either way not much else happened untill January 8th 1984.
On January 8th 1984 yet another great personage was gestated into being, a personage who would go on to touch many lives, enrich people, influence dozens and dye his hair red. That personage is me, Ian Hamilton.
The greatness of my life thus far cannot be adequately synopsised on this blog as there is not enough memory to store everything I have experienced, seen, heard, felt, tasted, blah, blah, blah.
Bearing this in mind please allow me to jump forward to Januray 8th 2005. My 21st birthday. I decanted from the bathroom after having satisfyingly relieved myself only to be summoned to my brothers room. Arrayed on his bed were a number of boxes loosely disguised by wrapping paper. I approached only to discover that the boxes contained a laptop, printer and backpack for aforementioned lap top. I was in awe. I had been in pursuit of a lap top for some time and was blown away that my family would band together to furnish me with one.
Elation followed for weeks, weeks turned into months. Then two weeks ago elation turned to dismay and blind rage. I turned on my lap top to do some work on a report only to discover that my beautiful LCD had developed a dead pixel. A bright red fucker in the bottom right hand quadrant of the screen. I felt like turning Michael Dell upside and making him shit out of his mouth. Anger.
Then last Sunday I again powered up my lap top, prepared myself to be highly annoyed and frustrated by the beady eyed, red fucker contsantly staring at me, only to discover the dead pixel had vanished. Once again my LCD was complete. No defilement.
It has taken me since Sunday to best figure out how to convey this miraculous story to you all, my dear friends. I hope you are all as touched, amazed and mystified by this series of events as I am. Thank for your time.