Through the hole in the sun, I see myself looking back. I am taller there with bright, green eyes that convey the happiness everyone who lives there must feel. My hair is black and long, tied into a ponytail that rests on my shoulder. I, there, am not as pale as I am here. My skin is healthy and tanned and it is set off by the glow of the red electric light above my head. It seems, through the sun, everything is lit red. My teeth gleam like rubies and I am smiling at me, showing them off. Me in the sun waves a jolly wave at me. Hi neighbour. A big gesture with an arc like a rainbow. I, in the sun, hold out my hand and shiny rays of gold flick out of my palm at me, leaving sparkly dust trails in their wake. They tickle as they sprinkle across my face and I smile and close my eyes. Me through the sun, speak to me.
He says “Guten Tag, meine Freunde.”
Smiling and his arms stretched out, he gestures with his fingers for me to come to him. His sparkly turquoise jumpsuit changing colour as he moves to red, violet, green, yellow, magenta, silver and more colours I’ve never seen before.
“Freund.”
I leap forward at the glorious star and float, spinning like a long pig, towards the hole in the sun. Asteroids with big purple faces grin and blow raspberries as I pass them. I grab one and I throw it at another who made a face. They strike each other and a ping sounds. A white “100 pts” materialises from the debris, framed against the blackness of space, and then evaporates into nothing.
The face in the sun gets bigger as I move closer to it. It’s so large now that it’s all I can see. He holds out his index finger and I clutch the edge of his fingernail with both arms. Black nail polish comes off onto my clothes as I crawl into the space between his fingernail and skin. Slowly he moves me up to his mouth and gently blow at me, my hair flowing back across my head.
“Huh huh huh, friend.”
He flicks me off his finger, back through the hole in the sun.
“Bye”, he waves goodbye, “Bye”.
I spin through the earth’s atmosphere, on fire, through the clouds into nighttime Ireland. Yawning, my head touches my pillow and my blankets pull themselves over me.
“Goodnight friend.”
And I fall asleep to dream of me through the sun.
I think you have finally done too much study Rob.
ReplyDeleteI also think my eyesight is beginning to deteriorate.
Then you are doing too much study, my friend. This post is totally normal. Nothing out of the ordinary. I don't know what you see.
ReplyDeleteGet yourself go di na leaba.
splurge
ReplyDeleteClass A?
ReplyDeleteI like stories like this.
I'm making a funny. I hope this works.
ReplyDeleteThis is what I write when I begin without an idea.
ReplyDeleteHave you got a god complex Rob? from what you wrote, it looks like you're omniscient and ubiquitous (a bit like me)
ReplyDeleteHey, what's di na leaba? stop insulting each other in Irish! I'll tell your mom!
ReplyDeleteRobert have you been dropping acid or doing shrooms? Seems like it
ReplyDeleteHave I got a god complex? I have a problem with god, I suppose. The idea of god rather than god, herself... himself And heaven. I have spent many good hours thinking about it. I don't like my conclusions but...
ReplyDeleteAnyway, there is only two of me in this story and one of me was an Indian.
di na leaba = go to sleep?? or something like go to bed??
ReplyDeletecrazy language
Leaba is bed. As far as I remember. Haven't spoken irish is half a decade. Daly might know more than me.
ReplyDeleteYeah go to bed. Spot on.
ReplyDeleteRob is the last person i'd say has a god complex. He's not enough of an asshole.
Yeah if he had a god complex he wouldn't have made his picture all grey ane clay like
ReplyDeleteHow are you set for the exams next week bud?
ReplyDeleteDaly, you're on the right track... for a good flake.
ReplyDeleteHur Hur Hur.
Why not? He could be some sort of Pagan god.
ReplyDeleteExams... shit. I going to start mondays one tomorrow, honest.
ReplyDeleteWednesdays one I have to start monday... and it'll go on like that until wednesday week when I finish victorous.
I AM GOD, MOTHERFUCKERS.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of motherfuckers, where's Ian.
Pagan gods are hairier
ReplyDeleteThere's plenty of hair between my hooves.
ReplyDeleteWell if you apply a goal reduction algorithm to your question and factor in uncertainty then he's likely fucking his or a mother.
ReplyDeleteoo sexy hairy hooves.
ReplyDeleteHere Daly, how's your exams going?
ReplyDeleteAlso, out of all the names you've had I think Dalyrage is the best...
Also again, has everyone seen the new link Fun Land?
I saw Funland I thought I was going to have a seizure.
ReplyDeleteYea, Funland's terrific.
ReplyDeleteOr terrorific.
I would like to add that one of my inspirations in the story was cannibalism.
Robert did you eat Ian?
ReplyDeleteSleeping every four hours sounds fucking awesome.
ReplyDeleteYea, I'm hoping my near imaginery photographic memory will pull my through the exams as well.
I didn't eat Ian... but I did eat some poop which is alot like Ian.
ReplyDeleteYours may be imaginary, mine just took an extended fucking break. About ten years i reckon.
ReplyDeleteYour subject sounds much more intensive than mine. At least I can use english when answering questions. You have to use binary code.... incredible.
ReplyDeleteYou going watching that french film bud?
ReplyDeleteWhat? Shit. I saw that it was on... When did it start?
ReplyDeleteIt's supposed to start right now
ReplyDeleteThe ads are on. It'll be on in two mins.
ReplyDeleteYES. I fucking love french films.
ReplyDeleteThere looks to be a craptastic film on TV3 right now. David Carradine is in it.
The film is called Bonjour Monsieur Shlomi for anyone else interested. It's supposed to be alright.
ReplyDeleteWhen you say craptastic do you mean craptastic good or craptastic bad?
ReplyDeleteHave you been watching the foreign film season. I've missed like all of it.
ReplyDeleteTehila is a bitch. The teacher's a legend though.
ReplyDeleteNever heard of that one. :/
ReplyDeleteIt's not french anyway. i can't understand a fucking word.
ReplyDeleteDid you watch the french film last night? Fucking savage. I think every girl in it had her mammaries out at one stage or another.
DID YOU JUST SEE THE AD FOR LOST? Holy SHIT. That's looks a billion times better than I thought it would.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the mammaries.
It's Isreali, in Hebrew. That's Gods Language.
ReplyDeleteYeah it's been all over TV.
ReplyDeleteThis israeli film is fucking kick ass.
Tonight, I drank almost an entire litre of Apple Juice.
ReplyDeleteI got really tired and decided to go to bed, but I only made it as far as my desk and lap top so I might go back for more and finish that motherfucker off.
ReplyDeleteDo it man. Do it.
ReplyDeleteThat film was fucking cool. Also craptastic means shit but highly entertaining because of it.
ReplyDeleteFinish him! Fatality.
ReplyDeleteYeah the old fucker was a legend. Women are like nooses. LOLZ.
ReplyDeleteI fucked that badboy up.
ReplyDeleteWhat's LOLZ?
ReplyDeleteLaugh out loud dragonball Z style?
Because that would be totally sweet!
Kylie's a weapon and a half. She's on my definitive list of maga-babes. Enough said.
ReplyDeleteIan, did it beg for mercy, spicy chicken style?
ReplyDeleteYou know it! It was all like "Hey come on, you've drank so much already. You've proved you are the apple juice master."
ReplyDeleteThen I drank the bitch anyway and it was all like "I'm gonna have you up to piss at 3 am mothe...."
Then I swallowed. Oh yeah!
Yea, kylie is the sexiest white blob on his phone.
ReplyDeleteGLUG! GLUG! GLUG! Thats sound I made, just so you know.
ReplyDeleteJesus man it's only a litre. Nice one though. Hedonism Bot (and Bob) would be pleased.
ReplyDeleteOhhhhhh, hedonism bob..... how could I have forgotten? New story alert...
ReplyDeleteEh, maybe tomorrow.
Nah, not unless they're with a 5 gigapixel camera at close range. I want to see dermis here.
ReplyDeleteOh Rob, this post reminded me of that episode of The Simpsons where Bart helps Grandpa find the Art he and his platoon stole in WWII and then hid. The description of the alternate sun-god you reminded me of the german guy who actually owns the art and at the end he sees Bart and Grandpa hugging, stops his merc and shouts out "Hey funboys, get a room".
ReplyDeleteDamn, don't post the word funboys bud. It totally ruins the impact when you say it out loud if people are used to it... It's one of 'those' words.
ReplyDeletehuh?
ReplyDeleteI was thinking of that... But for the german bit. I was thinking about the Indian from King of the Hill for the decription of me through the sun.
ReplyDeleteOther things I thought about were:
Ziggy Stardust,
the seventies,
the eighties,
Frankenstein
Old videogames
Soundgarden
Fucking Care Bears
Simpsons (Homer in Space)
Futurama
New adidas ad, the smart shoe one
The first X Box ad. The controversial one.
Apologies. Maybe that's a sentence I had to vocalise.
ReplyDelete*cough* Daly is a funboy.
ReplyDeleteCan I write a story about Hedonism Jim, the perverted financial management lecturer?
ReplyDeleteDamn, yes. Great idea. Hedonism Jim. Remember that it's hedonism, not hedonist. He has to symbolise the entire lifestyle.
ReplyDeleteDamn fucking straight, hes going to resemble the shit right down to his shoes.
ReplyDeleteGod damn lads. You're wrecking it.
ReplyDeleteOk fine. Not to worry. I've an endless supply.
Oh shit, look at the time. Me must bed go so that tomorrow study I can.
ReplyDeleteOtherwise, fail on monday exam I will.
Splurge.
I think I also want an exit sound effect. Maybe Kazaam.
ReplyDeletePost em up so man.
ReplyDeleteKazaam.
ReplyDeleteI had no idea Gerald really was the hottest guy in Ireland. What a trip
ReplyDeleteHow big are they? My email address is in my blogger profile.
ReplyDeleteI noticed the Soundgarden reference because of the 'black hole sun' expression. Welcome back to the 1990's.
ReplyDeleteMotherfuckers! Motherfuck, motherfuck, MOTHERFUCKERS! God fucking damn it.
ReplyDeleteWhat's wrong Ian. Stressed out over exams? Relax, put your feet up. It'll all be over tomorrow afternoon wether you do well or not. So why worry?
ReplyDeleteIf I post some crap, would anyone mind?
ReplyDeleteIt would literally be bits and pieces of stuff I've started but never finished... Just to get rid of them.
craptastify away
ReplyDeleteMy brain coughs.Exams=Cavity Search.Deep,Hard,No Lube.No time for personal malaise, just organisational disease.Even killing hookers on Vice C. holds no pleasure!
ReplyDeleteDoing the late night study thing M? Join the gang.
ReplyDelete'Craptastify': I'm gonna have to nick it, you know? It's just too good.
ReplyDeletenick away my good lady
ReplyDelete