Sunday, May 08, 2005

Yo buss dis. De bad assed Samaritan Sheeit

Bond entered da room.

“Hey Bond,” everyone squealed. “It’s bomb diggity see yo' ass, know what I'm sayin'? ” A ladyboy dropped its knees 'n started suck Bond’s cock.

“Muuunnnnngggggghhh,” replied Bond. Everyone laughed, know what I'm sayin'?

“Gee, Tom, yo' ass’re so bomb diggity,” gushed Doc n' shit. “I love yo' ass.” Doc started fondle tha dude's own crotch at da thought of making love Bond n' shit.

“Fuck yo' ass Doc,” be like Bond. Doc wuz crushed, know what I'm sayin'? Tha dude ran into da kitchen 'n started cut himself wit a knife.

“So what’s da crack wit yo' ass Bond?” asked Daly, know what I'm sayin'?

“How The Rage? Well I’m a total megaboy at da moment n' shit.”

”That’s my expression Tom, but that shiznit’s fo' sho fo' yo' ass use that shiznit. Yo' ass’re not copying me or anything, know what I'm sayin'?”

“Oh Yeah!” Tom pumps tha dude's izzle.

“So, what makes yo' ass a megaboy?”

“I rescued a disabled person from a burning building 'n helped an old brizzle cross da street.”

“Dogg, yo' ass’re so bomb diggity Tom,” Dan chipped in. “I wish I wuz like yo' ass n' shit. I wish everyone wuz like yo' ass.”

After hanging out fo' a while, Bond had leave do some charity work, know what I'm sayin'? On da way tha dude seen a small child after falling off tha dude's bike. Bond stopped tha dude's hooptie 'n gots out n' shit. “There, there, little fella n' shit. It’s fo' sho n' shit. Let me kiss that shiznit better, know what I'm sayin'? ” Bond started kissing da child on da lips.

”Thanks Mr, know what I'm sayin'? that’s not child abuse or anything n' shit.”

“I know kid, but don’t tell anyone fo' sho n' shit.”

“Ok n' shit.”

Bond landed out tha dude's charity work where tha dude helped many disadvantaged muthas during da course of da day, know what I'm sayin'? Afterwards tha dude shopped a major drug dealer 'n gave 'nuff evidence in court put tha dude's ass away fo' life. That evening Bond gave tha dude's mother a bikini wax.

That night Bond went bed, pleased wit tha dude's days work. Around da world muthas gots down on they knees, faced da direction of Bonds house, 'n prayed fo' ten minutes, know what I'm sayin'?


  1. I can't stop laughing.

    Apologies, blog mates, for all the posts. I'll stop posting for a while.

  2. ”That’s my expression Tom, but that shiznit’s fo' sho fo' yo' ass use that shiznit." Yo' ass’re not copying me or anything, know what I'm sayin'? ”

    Laughed like a bitch. Know what i'm sayin'?

  3. And fucking post as much as you want. You know that.

  4. Dans one was my favourite:

    “Dogg, yo' ass’re so bomb diggity Tom,” Dan chipped in." “I wish I wuz like yo' ass n' shit. I wish everyone wuz like yo' ass."


    Nah, i've had 4 wordy posts in a row. May take a break and see what ye legends come up with. I really wanted to sit back and enjoy the "Time-Tele-See-O-Matic" post too. But i couldn't resist the lure of the Shizzolator.

  5. fo sho this shiznit be tha real dizzledazzle mo fos.

  6. Well, I'm not going to post anything tonight. And if I post nothing tomorrow, that'll be it until Friday probably. So, I'll try to puke something out tomorrow. I have an idea but it won't be great, I can tell already.

  7. This shit is funny, really funny. I laugh at it everytime I read it. I might post something except my mind is devoid of ideas at the moment.

  8. Fucking, you should do a spacetime themed one... and I'll do one as well. Then we'll all have one each.

    Or you could do that idea I told you before about the kid.

  9. Yes someone use Time Twine.

  10. Dr. Tobias Fünke. Hehehehehheheheh. Hah.

  11. Now that you're Daly again, that last comment looks a bit rediculous.

  12. This is the sort of organic, emergent humour that truly great blogs evoke.