Monday, August 22, 2005

The Box- III

“Honey, do you know what I’m talking about?”
Marie tapped her chin with the end of a ballpoint pen.
“Did you check the toolbox in the garage?”
There was the flutter of pages, as Alan dropped what he was holding, and he rushed to the sitting room.
“What toolbox?”
For the first time since the mysterious object entered the house, Marie took a second to look at something other than it.
“Now, you don’t mean that, do you?”
“Yeah, I mean it. Of course. What toolbox? We have a toolbox?”
“Yeah, we have a toolbox. I gave it to you for a present. Remember? You said you’d use it and fix things around the house, like shelves. But of course you never did. I mean, what was I to expec…”
“OKAY… Okay, I get it. The garage… Jesus.” cried Alan, exasperated. “Fuck. I’ll go get it.”
Marie strolled around the box, tapping the pen against her teeth. She would stop every cycle and mumble to herself only to continue around the box, no new information gathered, no revelations. Just the same, flawless side repeated four times. The same infinity, the same emptiness.
“Found it Marie. I found it.”
Alan rushed back in, the sharp, clean, unused Stanley knife glinting as he flicked the blade from its sheath.
“Where will we cut it?”
“Along the top I suppose. We can always use it, if it’s empty.”
Alan nodded overzealously.
“Yeah, good idea.”
He drew the blade along the centre of the box top, a clean, straight line. He then cut along the edges to make two flaps.
“Well, “Marie had a numb feeling in her stomach, as if she knew what the box contained. “What’s in it?”
His face contorted and fresh beads of sweat popped from his forehead, to trickle into the box.
“Honey, what is it? What’s in the box?”
“Marie!” Alan’s voice was weak.
“Marie, there’s nothing in THIS GODDAMN BOX.”
“What a waste of time. It’s bloody empty. The box is fucking empty.”
“But Alan,” Began Marie, “… That’s makes no sense.”


  1. It's great having a story that's total filler in between ideas that actually hold some interested.
    This is one of those stories.

  2. Personally, I use a tactical tool retention device.

  3. This had me in fucking stitches. I'm still crying, you bastard, from the retardation and vacuous hilarity of these two drones. The pen tapping and the re-use possibility should there be nothing inside. Golden showers for everyone!

  4. I don't think anyone noticed the greatest bit of all...

    That at the end of part two... Marie was missing.

  5. I like your news clips. Visit anytime, And Im always looking for new reads.

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  6. Good boy Ian...
    It was only poop anyway.
    Is that a spambot? Since when do we post news?

  7. Everything we post is news. News of the impending implosion of popular and the explosion of our formidable talent.

  8. What you mean the story about the box was not lifted from a newspaper?
    Next your going to tell me the two headed flying cow isnt real either!

  9. No, no thats real. The mad scientist who lives in my garage made it from two goats, an orphan, 60 spiders and some tippex.

  10. Me too, I just dont make mitsakes.

  11. I actually use a bucket of white paint. That way I can save money by buying in bulk.

  12. This is funny. Implosions of the popular is funny.

  13. Yeah, I was wondering what Marie was doing there... mayeb we entered a fourth dimension, or something. But good story. I liked it. Nice job again ;)

  14. I read in a Murdoch publication that #2 was shit so I was... umm... unaware at the... umm... in-house smartassery and therefore... umm... laughed and generally thought it was good shit. You know?

  15. Booo Rob. We want linear time lines not tangent dimensions. I sir am black flagging this blog......Again

  16. Fuck you Kelly... tangent dimensions are where it's at. Like BT3, I was reading... and Cosmo says alternate universes are Hot. Sizzling, in facto.